Aging’s a B**** and She Ain’t Leaving Without a Fight!
Contributor
Written by
Mickie Sherwood
April 2011
Contributor
Written by
Mickie Sherwood
April 2011
First, let’s be clear. I know a thing or two about aging because I have a few years under my cummerbund. Oops! It’s been quite a while since cummerbunds were fashionable for women. Now, you know—I know—of which I speak.

On to the “nitty-gritty”. (When was the last time you heard that one?)

I know you’ve heard people say age is just a number. Well, it seems if that number is anything over thirty, then—you’re sliding down a razorblade on your way to a big, fat vat of alcohol. Ouch! Or the sentiment, What are the choices? Age or die. Well, for those who can’t, won’t or refuse to face the inevitable, all you have to do is turn on your HDTV. There you’ll find remedies touted to shave a few years off whatever part of your anatomy you desire.

For instance, a multitude of products exists out there with your names on them, if you’re concerned about a younger appearance. Lather on the salves designed to minimize those tiny lines around your eyes and mouth. Lotion down—or up, depending on your point-of-view, to smooth skin that’s as scaly as an alligator’s. Or pop potions that claim to turn back the hands of time from the inside out. Paid celebrity spokespersons wouldn’t have a thing on you, if you indulged.

Now, if performance is your shortcoming, there’s a long list of possibilities for you to explore. Pump up that seventy year-old body of yours so you’re sculpted like a hunky half-your-age somebody; and your image looks like you were Photoshopped. Swallow a pill to extend your range. But, be mindful of the time elapsed or chance a desperate medical dash for downsizing.

If those scenarios don’t suit your fancy, you can always go under the knife. The range of consequences as a result is phenomenal, sometimes comical and too plentiful to recount.

Other alternatives are the numerous prolong-your-life medications. You’ll see them showcased during time slots most likely frequented by the mature viewer with discriminating taste. Like the taste for a drink from the Fountain of Youth. The pills and elixirs are weapons to combat ill-health brought on by the passing of time. Some can either raise or lower blood pressure. Stabilize cholesterol. Possibly ward off heart attacks. Put pep in your step. And—even give you a new badtitude.

Is it worth all that trouble? You’re darn toot’n it is! If it makes you feel good about you.

How long did it take before you realized the mistake when you first put on your Miss Withers shoes? You know the ones I’m talking about. The soft little black oxford that string up the front worn by your fifth grade teacher way back when. Not too easy to make those things look good, is it?

Well, you’re on the hill—not over the hill. Go for it because you’re in the ring.

Whether you like it or not, aging’s a b**** and she ain’t leaving without a fight!

Mickie Sherwood
~~Sweet and spicy romance – A heartbeat away~~
Louisiana Lady

Sweet romance by Mickie Sherwood:
Nicked Hearts (2011)
Louisiana Hot Sauce (2010)

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