Death Is Easier For The Living
Written by
Tina Hernandez
March 2011
Written by
Tina Hernandez
March 2011
It's hard. …When you lose someone who was more than close to you.
There are no words that could ever be said to make it okay.

It never leaves us, the sorrow of losing a loved one. Years later, you'll find yourself in bed, just slightly about to fully awake, when you realize what day it is. That dreadful day. 

Death has a way of crippling us AND waking us up.
It is such an awkward thing. …It makes you, personally, want to curl up and die.
…But at the same time, it makes you want to grasp onto the remaining people in your life and live with them in the most liveliest way possible.

Before death, you probably never would of guessed that it was possible to cry so hard that you'd puke. 
Or that you'd find yourself, years later, looking for someone who you know wont be walking through the doorway.

Death brings sorrow and grief because the person whom you've loved so dearly is now gone, but it also brings gratefulness and joy. You find yourself grateful and blessed for the mere fact that you were able to know them while they walked amongst us. You find yourself filled with joy, and happy that you've aloud them to impact and change you. You're a better person for knowing them.

You lose yourself when you lose someone who made your world go round. I'm not sure if there is or will ever be a way of getting that part of you back, but in your attempts to process a loss so great… you find other parts of yourself you never knew were there.

It's the hardest thing to ever have to go through, losing someone so close, but its almost just as hard watching someone you love go through it and know that there isn't anything you can say or do to make it better. To know how their feeling inside, and all that you can say is that you're sorry they have to feel this way.

All you can do is be there. ...All we can do is to take one day at a time. Some days will be good, some days you wont feel like moving. ...And even sometimes it just helps to pretend that they're still there... still in the room... sometimes it just helps to pretend that they can hear you when you whisper their name, or that they're going to answer you when you ask a question. Sometimes it helps to pretend to know what it is they're going to say. Sometimes... if you sit real still, and you close your eyes tightly and just relive your favorite moments over and over in your mind, it helps... sometimes.

The greatest challenge for us, isn't to learn to love... it's to learn to grieve and to keep living with the memory of those we love.

Let's be friends

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