Lesson 340: Let Go Of Self-Limiting Thoughts

 You are what you think you are. I'm sure that quote belongs to someone, but it belongs to me today because I thought of it just now. How do we get in a pattern of thinking self-limiting thoughts? What negative messages about yourself pop into your head preventing you from living your fullest life? What borrowed beliefs keep you from living your dreams and from being your own person? What if your beliefs about yourself no longer fit who you are or who you want to become? Can you let them go or is there fear in that?

Lately I 've had a lot of fear come up with what I am doing. I'm writing my personal story which will be published for all to read. I am very grateful that I have this opportunity. It took a lot of letting go of negative beliefs about myself for this to happen. I had to believe that I could do it and that I was worthy of it. These were more difficult obstacles to cross than getting a book contract. The self-limiting beliefs we have about ourselves are the ones that block us. It is not the outside circumstances that keep us from living our fullest lives, it is ourselves. It was very hard for me to embrace this realization. It was easier to blame outside situations or obstacles as reasons why I couldn't live the life I wanted. Letting go of these was so hard.

I'm still not free of negative emotions. Are any of us? However, I will say that these emotions don't have a hold on me like they used to. The tape that plays in my head is no longer primarily negative. The negative voice is very distant and is now often extinguished by the belief in what I am doing.

Still, it's not easy to write about my life. Why? Because there is a tendency to want to show that our lives are shiny and that we are just fine. We don't have to penetrate to the core of our being in daily life. We can skip over the painful parts and just stick to small talk. We can keep all of our suffering and pain to ourselves so that people will think that we are just fine and that there are no problems.

Humans are funny. They want to be well-respected. They want to be liked and even loved. None of us are immune to this. It's a very basic instinct. It starts from birth. We try our best as we grow to get the approval of others. When we have their approval we feel like we are loved, even if what we are doing to get that approval (approval from partners, parents, friends, church, community, God, co-workers...you name it) doesn't serve us. We feel that since others approve, we must be doing good. But what about you? What about how you really feel? How do you fit into this equation?

It's scary to do something different and to change. It's scary to decide to follow your heart. Because if you decide to do something different, you might lose the approval of others. If you decide to open your heart, you might lose something. There is a fear of losing something and a fear of what others might think of what you have become.

The thing is, we all suffer. We all have pain. None of us are immune to this. None of us. So why is it so scary to open up? What makes us so different.

But as I write my book, I find it hard to be opened. I'm scared at times. I wonder what others will think about what I write. If I really open myself up, everyone will see who I really am. What will happen to me? What will I become? What if others don't like what I have written?

These thoughts are all connected to a fear about myself. Any self-loathing or self-restricting thought is a fear of losing something and that something is LOVE. It's the fear of being alone in my journey and a fear of others not liking what I write or deciding that what I write is not good enough.

Good enough for who? This is the question to ask. Good enough for WHO? All it needs to be is good enough for YOU. And this is what I keep coming back to. And if YOU are not good enough for YOU, then perhaps you haven't been able to let go of self-limiting beliefs enough to see your own beauty, because I assure you IT IS THERE. You just have to be willing to let go.

I am learning to embrace myself as I am. I'm letting go of self-limiting beliefs. I'm writing my story. I can't change it; it happened how it happened. And the truth is, I wouldn't change a thing. Because I have learned something from my experiences. If I hadn't gone through the experiences I did, I wouldn't be writing the book I am writing. So I am grateful for my life experiences. I am grateful for the pain and even for the self-limiting thoughts that are becoming more and more faint as I see them for what they are. As I face them and observe them and choose to let go of them, I see that I have so much to give.

In 2010, I wrote 365 lessons on my blog, Lessons from the Monk I Married, which is the same title of my book that will be published March 2012 by Seal Press.


Let's be friends

The Women Behind She Writes

519 articles
12 articles

Featured Members (7)

123 articles
392 articles
54 articles
60 articles

Featured Groups (7)

Trending Articles

  • Is This Really My Rose?
  • TWO - Freedom / Control
  • . i do not remember the war .
  • 5 Things to Consider When Writing One Story in...
  • February Guest Editor: Mia Sosa
  • From Notifications to Nature: How Writers Block out...