I really can't remember the last time I woke up and just felt down. Since I have been renewed every morning has called out to me alerting me that it was time for a new adventure. So when I got up this morning and felt a weight on my chest I was somewhat confused. Surely it was not the cold February rain, or the darkness that seem to be a part of it. Lately I have welcomed the rainy, dark gloomy days because they have allowed me to be alone inside with my thoughts. Those days have been bringing me inspiration and fueled my writing.

It couldn't be the writing could it? I know I have been distracted lately as I enjoy reading all about my She Writes friends. It couldn't be my She Writes "room of my own that just got bigger" granted I did need to fix it up a little and make it my own. I just could not put my finger on why I was in this mood so I decided to just leave it alone.

I decided that maybe I should just stay away from my She Writes room today and focus on something else. I thought that maybe I was getting too caught up in the life that was about to be and forgetting the life that I was currently living. I felt torn as if I was standing with a foot in my new life and a foot in the old. Could this be the source of my confusion and dread today? Or maybe I'm just thinking too much and need to relax?

At any rate as I drove to work my game plan for today was to just let the mood run its course. Not allowing it to pull me down further but just like a cold complete its run and be done with it. My decision included staying away from She Writes for awhile so that I could get focused on the other parts of my life that I ignored for a moment.

You see I love to read. I also love to write but my joy is reading. Being here this week has been like a child in a candy store. So many authors, so many views, so many ways of telling a story. When I get like this I can get caught in a story and let it take me away. So knowing this I thought that it was best that I not go to my She Writes room today.

That was my plan and I intended to stick with it. So when I turned on my computer and just decided to scan my emails my goal was to delete all She Writes emails just for today and to get to work on other things that I had pending (really I didn't have anything pending to do from work and well....).

Then I saw one of the She Writes was on one of the blogs that I read last night and thought it was so good. My curiosity got the best of me ( I do know that it also killed the cat....but). I read the comment and felt good that the person leaving the comment felt the same way about the blog as I did.

So I know you see where this is leading....before I knew it I was standing in my "room that just got bigger" How could I end up back here today feeling the way I felt. I walked around that room thinking " I just should not be here....I don't fit....don't do this to yourself girl you don't need this away"!!

I turned to run away out of that room as quickly as I could. This was not the day for me to get caught up. Anything I read could only bring me to the brink of disaster. I had to get out of my room shut the door and run as fast as I could and get my happy back. Just as I grabbed the door knob of my She Writes "room that just got bigger" I heard a gentle knock on the door and as I opened it the door to my heart opened as well.

Standing before me was one of my new acquired She Writes friends. She gently took my hand and said "I had a feeling you needed a friend today. So I brought you some of mine. Come with me and I will help you find your happy." I looked at that calm peaceful face and was captured by the depth of her personality.

I went with her and her friends back to her "room that just got bigger". I became caught up as I looked around and discovered all the hidden treasures that she had tucked away in different compartments of her place. We went to the other connecting places that she had made her own. I found out what made her tick.

How she became the writer that she is. The twist and turns that landed her here. Her friends were very excited to tell me all about her. She sat there very modestly as they spoke never once growing a big head or ego. She remained humble and transparent. So giving as if she was willing my happy to return and allowing me to understand that sometimes the darkness comes for no reason but for me to never give into it.

Her friends were powerful ladies in their own right. I sat fascinated with what they were saying. Ms. Alfre Woodard was so excited and Ms. Winfrey also was pleased. I couldn't believe that this wonder was now a part of my life. I was pulled in and then allowed to wander around as much as I pleased.

I moved from place to place and was allowed a sample of the many treats that she had to offer. I was becoming full but not over satiated. The rain and gloom continued outside but in my being I felt the sun slowly rise. I didn't even notice when that pressing dread left. All I knew was my happy was back and I couldn't get enough of it.

I was allowed to play and eat as many treats as I wanted. I was allowed to understand that we each are blessed with our own kind of gifts and that I could never be her and she could never be me but what we had to offer would bless the world around us. I began to understand that sometimes being caught up in a world thats inside of you yearning to come out can sometimes put you in a dark place.

A dark place because you have poured to much of yourself out and did not leave enough inside to keep you going. I learned that when the darkness reared its ugly head that it was best to take a moment to just be still and allow it to move on.  While you are standing still take that time to feed your soul with all of the positive energy that you can find. To sometimes just understand the process that others took before you and the results they had by pushing forward.

This is what was given to me today. I left my friend with my happy back. I got to see her as her friends did and appreciate the process. She allowed me to leave with gifts that I will treasure for a life time. I walked away from her "room of her own" feeling simply "Glorious" and sweet as "Sugar".

Not only that when I went back to my "room of my own" not only had it just got bigger but the sun was out and shinning brightly illuminating every nook and cranny of my being.

The darkness was gone and my happy was back. I enjoyed having my She Writes friend today and I had something to combat any future attacks of the gloom and doom darkness. You see I have "Glorious and Sugar" to live with me forever.

Thanks Bernice McFadden my She Writes friend for chasing away the darkness and bringing back my happy.

Can't wait til my books arrive....smooches

Let's be friends

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