• Helen Smith
  • Why should I give up my seat for you just because you're pregnant?
Why should I give up my seat for you just because you're pregnant?
Written by
Helen Smith
February 2011
Written by
Helen Smith
February 2011
You could only ask this question if you were a man. It's OK, I get it. You have never been pregnant and you never will be. If your wife or girlfriend falls pregnant you may write cheerful emails to people saying 'we're pregnant' or reminisce about a time 'when we were pregnant'. But, trust me. You are not pregnant. You never were. If you were pregnant, you'd know about it.

But you have a sporting injury that is giving you gyp. You're tired. You're hungover. You're on a bus or the Tube and you don't see why you should give up your seat for a woman just because she's pregnant. She's only having a baby. Loads of women do it. Your mother did it. How hard can it be?

Well, imagine that you are carrying around a 7lb kicking thing, together with another heavyish thing that will later be known as 'the afterbirth' and which looks like a very large slab of veiny liver, and some amniotic fluid, which is watery stuff and also quite heavy. You don't have a womb, so imagine that you are carrying it around in your scrotum. I know that some of you have already imagined this because I have seen you sitting on the Tube with your legs spread wide apart, and I know it's not because you have a big dick. So imagine these heavy items - perhaps you already have a comedy name for the living part of it, like 'junior' or 'festus' - hanging in your scrotum, or (if you prefer) stuffed up your arse. Anywhere you'd swear they don't belong, considering how uncomfortable it all is.

Now imagine getting on the Tube and travelling to work and standing all the way to your destination because all the young men with normal-sized scrotums don't see why the hell they should give up their seats to you. If you can't imagine that, imagine being old or disabled and having to stand up when your legs ache. If you can't imagine that, don't worry about it. Because one day it will happen to you.

Note: This post is a response to an advert for McCain's fries that is currently running on London Underground. It suggests that it is amusing for an apparently healthy youngish man to avoid giving up his seat to someone who needs it. I could just as easily have entitled it: Why should I give up my seat for you just because you're disabled/injured/old? But I am not disabled and I have never been injured and I'm not that old, so I found it easier to describe how it feels to be pregnant in case one of those chip-eating morons should read this.

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