Confessions of a Pitch Slam Virgin
Contributor
Written by
Michelle Oeltjen
January 2011
Contributor
Written by
Michelle Oeltjen
January 2011
I survived my FIRST EVER WRITER'S CONFERENCE! IN NYC!! (Did you hear me??) Ok, it wasn't so much the writer's conference I was worried about, it was the pitch slam with 50+ agents that had me eating Rolaids like candy all day Saturday and truly reconsidering my decision to quit my well paying day job in the middle of a recession to become a writer. I hadn't felt this nauseated for a meeting since I had to meet 1:1 with my manager at my corporate whoring job. The only difference? Then I KNEW she was going to tell me I sucked. This time? I was facing a worse type of potential rejection. The rejection of my story. (My story = my baby.)

 

So Saturday at 3:15pm I stood in a ten person deep line waiting for my chance to do my first ever professional pitch. Thanks to all my new besties I had met the day before at the conference and shared cocktails with at our mixer the night before, I had my pitch perfected and polished. I couldn't WAIT to test it out on a real live agent and not just to my reflection in the mirror.  For the next two hours, my inner dialogue went something like this:

 

3:18pm. Ok. The first person should be done with their pitch. Only 27 more minutes to wait. Maybe I should risk leaving this long line to find a shorter one before I chicken out? 

 

These agents are going to LOVE my pitch!

 

Damn, it is hot in here. 

 

Does my lipstick look ok? 

 

Shit, what is my pitch again?

 

3:19pm. Seriously? 

 

These agents are going to LOVE my pitch!

 

Wow, there are a lot of people in this room.

 

Shit, it is hot in here.  

 

Why does my backpack feel like it is filled with bricks all of a sudden?

 

It is SO. FRICKING. HOT. IN. HERE.  

 

My pitch sucks. 

 

My book sucks.

 

This? Sucks. 

 

3:20pm. OH MY GOD. 

 

And on and on it went. In two hours I saw five agents. Of those five, two said to send them partials. (Yay! I'm not a TOTAL failure.) 

 

But this is only the beginning. There is a LOT of work to do now. 

 

Thanks to all who cheered me on and a special thanks to my newly formed posse...Bitches with Pitches.

 

Damn I love NYC. 

Let's be friends

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Comments
  • Michelle Oeltjen

    Hi Lisa! I didn't really know what to expect either. My main piece of advice would be to get on Twitter if you are not already, and follow the hashtags of WDC 2012. That was SO helpful and even had me tweeting w/ attendees before I got to NYC. Once there - befriend anyone and everyone! I had an idea of what I wanted to say but after hearing Chuck and some others bravely stand up and give their pitch for the agents to critique, I spent the remainder of the night w/ my newly formed posse - Bitches With Pitches (Lol!) - working on all of our critiques together. It was SO helpful b/c we were all in the same boat and wanted to help each other out so much. Best of luck to you! Love, MO

  • Lisa W. Rosenberg

    Hi Michelle,

    Congrats on your partial requests; I hope they led to something wonderful like a puplishing contract!

    Thanks for this.  I'm going this year and don't know what to expect.  I know Chuck is giving a pitch prep session the afternoon before, but still ... A question when you get a chance: did you have your whole (90 second?) pitch in your head or did you read your query or what? 

     

    Another pitch slam virgin

     

  • Hallie Sawyer

    Way to go, Michelle! Good luck with those partials!

  • Michelle Oeltjen

    Thanks Meg and Cathy! Yes - surely something about this is easy and when I, or you, find it...please share!  :-)

  • Meg Waite Clayton

    Laughing laughing laughing! Congrats on putting yourself out there, Michelle - that's way the hardest part! Well, except for the writing. Surely there is something about this that's easy ... isn't there? (Sharpening the pencil?)