Truth Quietly Rings Loud
Contributor
Written by
Ana Lewis
January 2011
Contributor
Written by
Ana Lewis
January 2011
I conscientiously made a decision many years ago to be a quiet woman.  Let my actions speak louder than my words. Mother Theresa is who I admired and wanted to emulate. I hardly ever heard her speak, but she sure made a big impact on so many people through her actions. Jane Goodall... ever here her speak? She is gentle, thoughtful and passionate - in such a quiet way. But once again, she sure says volumes in her actions.


This all sounds good, but is it really? Was my vision of who I want to be really matching the inspiration? Probably not. My thoughts
and inspiration were not pure. You see, the reason I wanted to be a
quiet woman, was because I did not want to be like my mother.


I saw my mother as a deeply angry woman. She proudly wore the label "disciplinarian" her whole life. She was outrageous, funny, loud and yes - angry. She was a ham, so she didn't mind being angry out loud, or even dramatic. I was inwardly afraid of it and if I admit to myself, even a little embarrassed and repulsed by it. Hell if I wanted to be like that.


Then at a young age, she died. Suddenly and in her sleep. Quietly.


I felt guilty for years. Beat myself up. How could I be repulsed by her anger and still miss her terribly at the same time? How did I handle it? I became more quiet. More reclusive. More head-to-the-grindstone working. More in the background. More comfortable in that role. And safe. Safe from other people, safe from my own judgments that if I do speak out, I might be just like my mother, and once again I would feel torn about that emotion.


I became comfortable working by myself. I had a very select group of friends, and they had been my friends for decades. All very safe. All people who were okay with me being quiet, with the exception of when I would laugh. Laughter has been my key to an open door. Laughter has been my key to an open heart. Laughter has been my key to spirit. I also discovered that my friends, whom I trusted for years and years, were mostly women. They were a huge source of strength for me. I was a single mother for 15 years, and I swear that they helped me raise my children. We would hang out on my patio after a long day, exchange stories, eat wonderful meals, and laugh. When I got remarried in 2006, it was one of the things that I missed. The girlfriend connection. The daily touchstone of females I trusted.


So, I started Women on the Verge. A community where I could be me. Safe, hard-working and surrounded by intelligent, strong females. And I could be quiet... or so I thought.


Quiet. What does that mean when you are the founder of an amazing community? Are you doing a disservice to your community if you start your day in quiet meditation and don't really get out of that mode? Well... perhaps, but I am thinking that perhaps it's time that Women on the Verge step out a little more.


I re-looked at the women that I admire (the aforementioned Jane Goodall and Mother Theresa) and thought to myself, I may not have realized it, but perhaps I am closer to them than I originally thought. They speak not for themselves, but for something that they are passionate. They don't have to be angry about it. They simply speak
their truth and it rings out. They try their best, and their best speaks loud and clear. I can live in that.


I passionately believe in women. And in with actions, it is easy for me to live this belief out loud. I believe that we are beyond the stereotypes of the back-stabbing, cat-fighting bitches that some ridiculous myth wants us to think that we are. I believe that in our souls, in our core, we are nurturing and blissful when we love someone and they do well. We like to be a part of each others triumphs. We like to be there with a ready hug when someone we love falls. It rings in our soul with joy when we reach out in that manner to each other. I believe in that. I believe that we, as Women on the Verge can eradicate the old, tired myth and showcase with our actions, the truth. The truth that we are beautiful, supportive, loving, nurturing and can be loved as our true selves - no matter what that may be.

*****************

Angry Woman or Quiet Woman is our theme for January. Please join in the conversation by joining WomenontheVerge.net, on Twitter @WomenontheVerge, on Facebook or by listening and chatting on our monthly radio show on the same theme. January, 19th from noon-1pm on BlogTalkRadio.com/womenontheverge.

Thank you for being on the Verge.
Ana Lewis
founder of WomenontheVerge.net

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