Lessons
Contributor
Written by
Tiffany N. Josephs
December 2010
Contributor
Written by
Tiffany N. Josephs
December 2010

No other day does the world behave like they do on January 1st. I was born on this day, so for me, it’s a bit of a double whammy—this idea that the preceding year holds lessons that I must learn from, conquer, overcome, whatever you want to call it. With my surefooted-nature and high aspirations, I completely relate to the goat—the able mascot for my spot on the Zodiac.

Until recently, this period of self-analysis was unpleasant, to say the least. The voices that spoke the loudest were ones that I would never say aloud, but nonetheless those that I embraced. In a nutshell, the two core beliefs I held closest to me were fastened with fear: life is a struggle, and my self-worth comes from other’s acceptance of me.

Ouch! It hurts just to write that. For years, I didn’t consciously feel the heaviness of my own thoughts. Instead of acknowledging them, I would react through procrastination or withdrawal. Desperately, they wanted a voice, an outlet, a channel.

So, like all great lessons, they came in the form of a story.

I woke up on my thirty-first New Year’s Day and told my family I was writing a novel. The night before, I had a dream that I can only describe as epic. I wasn’t the same gal waking up than the one going to sleep; whatever needed to be worked out on a subconscious level happened in that dream. A few coffees into the day, I blew the dust off my journal and began to open to this beautiful story of love and mothering and redemption. It was the first time I felt so connected to my voice, and it felt so easy. There, with my pen in hand, I stepped into the flow of my life. I made a commitment to the higher part of me, the muse of my own spirit, to keep the lines of communication wide open. Whether through keyboard or colored pencil or hugging my children, I give value to the creative energies within me at every opportunity. Lucky me, I’ve discovered grace in the process.

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