• Anjuelle Floyd
  • Why do I write and what is my process? | By Brett Foster
Why do I write and what is my process? | By Brett Foster
Contributor
Written by
Anjuelle Floyd
October 2010
Contributor
Written by
Anjuelle Floyd
October 2010

Why do I write, to explain myself, over explain myself, tell a story, make someone cry tears of joy at an ending they never thought could be. No, I write because a fire inside me burns with such a fury I have to find a way to let people here my war cry. I write to yell out for the world to hear: "If no one believes in you, believe in yourself, never stop believing in yourself! Society does not determine who we are, that right was never theirs, it is reserved for us, that right has been reserved for every person that thinks they stand along! I had to fall and hit rock bottom, and now I must crawl back to the top, and I am thankful, I would have it no other way, now I have the opportunity, my opportunity to define what it is simply to exist, not for society, or for my peers, but for myself, it is my turn to define what it is to persevere!!!!" I write to express myself, but most of all to let out what I never had the words to express to anyone, to free myself from life's prison of anxiety, hate, doubt, and people telling you you’re a mistake even when you are trying to do everything you can just to make it to see the light of the next day. "Please all I want is one last beautiful sunset, the last one my father never got to see." I write so people can finally hear the fury of my wrath through my silence expressed in the form of ink slammed onto paper. This world lost me a long time ago, and now I have finally found myself so I write most importantly so I can here my real voice expressing the words I always wanted to use but was too scared to say. When this world cuts me I bleed onto paper and express myself by telling life, “Is that all you got, is that your best shot, I will go blow for blow with you until the day I die, you will never keep me down.” I have washed away the bitter taste my mistakes left in my mouth. Thank god I have had the chance to continue to learn every life lesson the hard way. Learning how to continue to live in this world by first learning how not to live through: tragedy, selfishness, anger, lust, self loathing, contempt, guilt, addiction, and hate. I write with my emotions and you can see that throughout my work. I also write with my own unique form of humor, I love using humor to make even the most awful incident a hilarious one in the readers eyes. Most importantly, in my writing I am not going to tell you a whole bunch of stories about what happened to try and make me look good, I am just going to tell you what happened. I love to start a story from scratch, with only a title in mind and just start writing and see what type of literary roller coaster my imagination is going to take me on, on that particular day, I love it! Everyday I learn a new lesson. My father was my best friend, so most importantly I write to honor my dad, or "Rock" as I like to call him. My father passed away at the young age of 53 on December 1st, 2006, two weeks before I would graduate from Florida State University with my bachelors degree, and the week before my final exams, it crushed me. He left behind three loving sons when he left us for a better place than this world could offer him. I write not only to honor his memory but to make him proud of me, his middle son. Just like my father did during his life time it is now my turn to tell life that I will not bow or break. I must continue to persevere no matter what this world throws at me. I will not fall to the floor and be held down, I will not simply give in and fade into the night, I will find a way to take your breath away, I will survive, I must survive. I will dominate this world in every way, I will conquer this world, it will tell me it when it has had enough. I will never tell this world I can‘t take it any longer. Tonight I will start the fire, tonight I will finally find the strength, my strength to break away. If you can not stand the way this world is then take yourself to higher places, I just have to keep holding on, I will never stop holding on to my dreams. I write every day to remind me of this, and to see how far I can push my own limits, and most importantly because I don't know how to not write. “Father I hope I have made you proud, just give me a sign." Rock, I will love you forever and for you I must continue to endure life at its very worst. This world will not bring me to my knees. I will shake the ground beneath my very feet for you father. I will bring life as you know it to its knees for you father! I must continue my wild journey, and even though I know I will continue to fall down, and that life’s ruthless predators are out there and they will try to cut me down, at least now I know how to get back up. "Nothing will ever be able to hold me down, your, fury, grace, and ambition has found its way into my veins father, it is my life force, I am driven now, and nothing can stop me, for you I will succeed, for you I must succeed!”

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