I am a firm believer that if you are a positive person and avoid sending negative energy into the universe, you'll be repaid in kind. I'm not some spiritual guru type, just someone who feels karma has a way of biting everyone in the behind if they're not careful, and if you really want something and focus all of your positive energy on it, you usually get it. Of course, this is not voodoo, or in the other extreme, science. Some things are impossible. I can wish to be a six foot supermodel all I want and put out as much positive energy as I can muster, but I'll wake up tomorrow a plump 4'10" 42-year-old. Other things may not be meant to be- Brad Pitt will not be leaving Angelina for me, but they may go back to me being a short, plump 42-year-old. But most things, things that we have some slight control over, I believe it's possible to get. For instance, I was hoping for some time alone. I have a great husband and two wonderful daughters. But I also have a day job, which I do from home, writing legal briefs. I have four due in the next two weeks. I also have my publisher, Billie Johnson at Oak Tree Press, waiting for my second manuscript, Jambalaya Justice, which I thought I would be finished by now. My Crescent City Mystery Series won't officially even be a series until she publishes the second one. School is also getting ready to start. I am the incoming president of our co-op, which is the equivalent of the PTA, so my time will grow more limited. And I'm enrolled in an on-line course for screenplay rewriting, which requires an assignment every two or three days, plus critiquing three others. My husband recently took a job that takes him out of town with the BP cleanup, because contracting down here in New Orleans, even air conditioning contracting, has come nearly to a standstill because of the economy and fear of hurricanes and the oil spill. I guess no one wants to fix up their homes when they might be losing them. Oh, and I don't drive since I got in a bad car wreck two years ago, so with my husband gone, I'm stuck at home a lot with my girls. My girls are incredibly bright, but they are two years apart in age and constantly fighting, which makes it difficult for me to get work done while I'm playing referee. My oldest, eleven, also wants to constantly show me the newest band she's found on youtube for me to download onto her Ipod, the spoilers she's read for the t.v. show Glee, and the latest design idea she's had for decorating her room when we finally change it from the playroom to her bedroom. The youngest interrupts constantly to show me art she's made for me, to perform a commercial she's made up, to show me her Barbie's new outfit, or perform an original dance and song. I treasure these moments of course, but it does tend to get in the way of novel and brief writing. So I'm thinking I really need some time for myself. My mother, who is an angel about taking my girls, suggested without me even asking that she take the girls for two days. Or longer, if they want to stay. I'm thinking my positive energy and constant thoughts that I need time alone to get caught up caused this to happen. Either way, the girls were excited, because without me driving and with the hubby gone, they're not getting to do a whole lot this summer. My sister was sending my nephew over there as well, so they were going to have a blast. I watched my mother drive off with them and thought I would feel excited any second. I was getting not only a few hours alone, but an entire two days and two nights alone. I don't think that has ever happened in my life, not since I got married. Even when the girls slept at my mother's before, my husband was usually home. But after about thirty seconds of this alone time, I burst into tears. I am not emotional. In fact, probably one of my biggest faults is that I am almost psychopathically unemotional. But for the first time in I don't know how long, I was actually lonely. I'm not used to quiet. I'm not used to not having someone needing me. I'm not used to sleeping in a house alone. Even the dog and kitten decided to sleep under the bed instead of with me like they usually do. So right now I'm working on my novel, interspersing it with reading my records for the brief, playing my favorite music really loud on the computer (which is what I do to dig into emotion for writing the novel), and wondering how I'm going to sleep alone again tonight, or if I'm going to sleep tonight. I didn't last night. So while getting what you want may not be as difficult as you think, be careful what you put out in the universe. It may not really be what you wanted, or needed. Holli Castillo Gumbo Justice www.gumbojustice.net