Blog Posted June 7, 2010.......Babaganoush Anyone? Sometime tomorrow I’ll find out if I booked a national commercial for American Express – and the waiting is making my mouth water and my teeth sweat. Either I’ll get it or I won’t. Either they’ll call me or they won’t. What time might my cell ring or it won’t? Anytime. My phone will be on when I go to sleep. I WILL sleep thanks to my sleeping assistant, Temazepam. So anytime tomorrow I may or may not get a call. If I booked the job, they’ll give me a time to show up on Tuesday for a wardrobe fitting. That’s the time I’ll have to tell the costume people I fibbed on my size card. I’ll simply explain I was forced to eat enormous meals since the audition on Friday and gained ten pounds. But my feet got smaller. You know when you’re waiting for a decision that seems like it might have a big impact on your life – time seems like it’s standing still? Today was the longest Sunday of my life – not really – but I think in drama – which is an undefined language many of us share. My dear friend Katherine Johnson kept me busy all afternoon shopping for office supplies. It’s a fun and relaxing activity because size doesn’t matter. She then hung in there during dinner while I sobbed and blabbered about favorite moments from my “on stage” repertoire, insisting I’m going to start auditioning again immediately, but not before dinner was over. As the snot slid down my lips into my babaganoush – the server jumped up and replaced my napkin supply. Katherine didn’t seem embarrassed or bothered in any way. Of course this is LA, people only look at you when you enter a restaurant to see if you’re famous; and then they never look at you again. Whether I get this job or not I will continue showing up for myself and following my dreams…neither vulnerability nor rejection will kill me. Pretending I don’t have these dreams will destroy my spirit. And I’m making a note to read this paragraph again tomorrow.