There's a contest for Bad Poetry going on at Chip MacGregor and here are my two entries. I ahve tons o fbad poetry to choose from, so I chose two of my favorite baddies. See what you think. Bad enough to be a winner? I guess we'll see. ____ Hot Headed Once upon a soup is our tale The way to a man's heart without fail Chicken, tomatillos, lime and rice Roasted hot peppers and plenty of spice The resulting concoction was a brew on the senses Our desire, it mounted, knocking down all our fences The domain of the bedroom was entered with force Urgency on display - the aim? Intercourse I went down on my knees to worship the rod And said to myself, "Oh yes, there's a God." The burning sensation I thought was desire My mouth was aflame And his loins burned from fire My hands were the culprit Flaunting thick skin with vain But we now know jalapenos and love equal pain. ___ The Stain There once was a stain on the bed Mysterious, untrustworthy and dead We poked and we prodded We questioned and plotted Our findings, they filled us with dread We turned on the light Examined our plight Oh damn, we wished it was red ___ Have some bad poetry you thinks awful enough to win? Go to: http://chipmacgregor.typepad.com/main/ - post your poetry as a comment and you may win the Grand Prize! A copy of what has been called "the worst self-published book ever." How to Good-bye Depression is the product of that great writing mind Hiroyuki Nishigaki, who added to its fame by creating this winning subtitle: If You Constrict Anus 100 Times Every Day. Malarky? or Effective Way? (No, I'm not making this up. That's the subtitle. Complete with punctuation errors.) Have fun! Ana Lewis, founder of Women on the Verge.net, CEO of Co-Op Web, Inc.