The thing about him is...
Written by
Nina Chong
April 2010
Written by
Nina Chong
April 2010
Perhaps this will not be one of the most thought over or put together blogs I have ever written, but I think it's best sometimes to write the things that I don't necessarily have "together". And this is one of them: He's just the "bees knees". [Whatever that means.] But I feel it's proper for what I'm getting at--at least it sounds like it is. Every time I'm with him I am happy and relaxed, but a little flustered, and when he leaves I feel like my heart is going to pop. Thing is, I don't know if he's going to read this tonight or at any point [because I told him I wrote about him today..meh -_- couldn't help it], but I am really kind of feeling a little bonkers over this guy--and that's weird. I am scared he is reading this..I am afraid he would take me a fool and see how head over heels I might be getting--how I think soon I'm slowly walking on the road that leads to me completely falling for him.[and just in case you're wondering girls, I do have that round eye-browed, goofy-smiled, glittery eyed face on.] But I do, I do think I am slowly going to fall for him completely. And even as I write this I am uncertain as to whether I am being completely truthful or not. Perhaps I am already on the road to slowly falling for him. I must say slowly because it puts everything in a more logical, un-meddled with description. But I do know that I'm going there. I'm most definitely going there. And the only thing I worry about is that somehow, he won't go there with me. And that has nothing to do with him. It's not him. I actually think it's normal for someone to feel afraid this way. A relationship is a two-way street and if one party doesn't feel the same as the other I would think it probable to think the relationship may hit a few bumps. One side may not understand why the other is not behaving the same way if they feel the same way. And this, of course, and particularly in a self-protective person such as myself, may lead to that person realizing or concluded the feeling isn't mutual. And that kinda hurts. It makes you think, what's wrong with me that he doesn't feel the same?... Moving on. Because the bottom line is my heart is freaking out! It feels like everything inside me is going to pop like nothing I've ever felt before! And it's just wonderful and amazing and swelling up inside me to the point where sometimes I want to open up my mouth and sing the hearts out except I know that isn't possible..even if I stood or sat with my mouth smiling and wide open. (which I would definitely do)

He's great. & He's wonderful. And there are so many reasons why. It's just everything about him and the way he cares and feels about me that makes me feel the way I do. And I don't know what all this is! I've never felt this way before. I get scared. I wonder sometimes if this relationship feels any different than it did with his ex. I wonder if I am different. If I feel different. If he feels differently about me than he did about her... Because I do. I feel more different about him than I ever have about anyone else. & God I just pray this is a go. If this doesn't work, this'll be the one that takes my heart completely. I know I will lose a certain lovely piece of me if this breaks apart. I'll break apart. Shattered pieces of glass on the ground reflecting my broken image back. And I don't know how it would even begin to be put back together. That would really be an act of God. I'm gonna explode.

Let's be friends

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