The Generation of Fabulous Females by Alice Grist, author of The High Heeled Guide to Enlightenment I’m going to be a little bit controversial and claim here and now that feminism, in some respects, has thus far failed (a little bit). Yes women can wear trousers without issue, give or take problems with zips versus buttons and the ever changing and confusing fashion statements made by bootleg, straight cut and flared options. Yes us gals can vote and get jobs and generally walk the streets unharrassed… generally. But in a twisted deal with the devil, to attain this, and to add feminine gloriousness to the workforce, I believe that we have paid an unfortunate price. The cost of being a fabulous female in the 21st century is threefold and goes as follows: First, we have become super-equal. Meaning that to feel successful, not only must we equal men, but we must retain all our feminine aspects too. We desperately believe we deserve everything, and many of us suffer under the weight of trying to juggle children, partners, social lives, gym schedules, housework and careers. Second, women are sexualized to the hilt and I defy you not to open a magazine or pass a set of billboards without being visually assaulted by female flesh, legs, lips and hips. Leading to many young women haphazardly experimenting with anything from new lipstick to botox to anorexia in a bid to fit the convention. Thirdly, we have bought into the culture of buying. Handbag over fist we flaunt our newfound earning power to the extent that shopping has become key to our goals in life. We all want to have it bigger and better. Life has become one big exchange program and rather than work at our inner happiness we employ a swap shop technique. The car isn’t flash enough, get a new one, the boyfriend isn’t how the magazines say he should be, get a new one, nose is a bit crooked, get a new one, and so it goes on. Warning: being a fabulous female can be hazardous to the mental health. Something is clearly missing from our lives. Our souls are subject to a whopping great black hole that sucks up new shoes and handbags as though the plentitude of them will somehow make us complete. The consumer culture we live in has forced us to look outside ourselves for happiness. In doing so we have almost forgotten who we are on the inside. We no longer know ourselves as individuals, rather we are a compilation of fashions, occupation, marital status, dress size and confusion. We suffer badly under the belief that the, ‘grass is greener’, ‘life will be better when…’ and the misguided thought that it is everybody else who is the problem and never us. Our aspirations are prescribed by an overreaching perfection obsessed society, and our little sisters grow up wishing to be WAGS! We skulk in corners, pouting at waiters supping our cocktails, applying our lip-gloss and pretending that we aren’t as dark as we actually feel on the inside. I know because I have been there. At the age of 28, I was having a mini mid life crisis. From the outside I was well groomed and shiny, on the inside I was empty. My life was whirling around me, seemingly out of control, and yet I smiled and glowed and basked in the company of friends, all the while blaming everything and everyone else in my life for my misery. Full of desperation I had to do something to get myself out of this ever worsening rut. Luckily I had been brought up spiritually, and spiritual beliefs were familiar to me. However I had let them go to worship at the altar of weekend boozing and boob enhancing brassieres. It was fun for a few years, but living for the weekend had taken its toll, and I was a shell of my former self. It was in this fog that I found myself embracing reiki and reading about alternative faiths. I was soon hooked and alternative spirituality quickly became my self-help, my savior and my heaven sent liberator. Far more than spending power, or even my first car, alternative spirituality was empowering. It brought me back to life. My book The High Heeled Guide to Enlightenment (THHGTE) charts my journeys into alternative spirituality and shows how ancient wisdom, healing and divination techniques are relevant to the life of modern females. I believe that in women’s search for equality we have piled far too much on our plates in the belief that being equal means suffering anxiety related fatigue between trips to the spa! We are missing something of our essential higher self but THHGTE shows that this can be replaced. Women must realise that to be utterly fabulous we have to go beyond skin deep. Our intentions, thoughts, self-belief and actions towards others, are the true key to our fabulousness. But this isn’t just about brains versus beauty, it’s about soul and heart and depth and belief and love. Finding our lost spirit and soul is key to this transformation. I believe that us ladies feel spirituality in our bones, but until now our bones have been too busy down the gym to give it a second thought! THHGTE aims to capture the spiritual imagination and inclination of a new generation and help set them off on a journey of rediscovery. From my experience I would recommend a pick and mix approach to alternative spirituality. I don’t see the harm in picking elements of alternative spirituality that suit your soul and soothe your mind. If all you can manage is to stick a crystal in your handbag and mentally request the angels to protect you at an important meeting then so be it. If your spiritual inclination extends only to reading about reincarnation and chatting with girlfriends over cocktails about intriguing coincidences that have happened to you, and what they might mean in the bigger scheme of things, then go for it, it could be the small beginnings of a new way of life! The examples of benefits for the modern woman are endless, but some examples are as follows. Buddhism can help to show her how to quell her lusts and desires for bigger, better material objects such as cars, handbags or sofas. Buddha’s teachings teach her how to live happily in her own skin without the need to bitch and moan her way through the day. Wiccan practice can naturalize sexual relations, without her having to don fluffy ears, breathy voice and a bunny tail every time she enters the bedroom. Making sex sexy in a truly equal way. Shamanism helps her to see the bigger picture and to incorporate her innate love for nature and the environment. Whilst Kabbalah has some darned good advice on ways to behave that minimize the darker influences on her soul. Divination and healing techniques add intrigue and calm to an otherwise busy life, and help to show that there is life beyond the conventions of modern science and time, as we perceive it. Spirituality of all kinds can have a massive life enhancing effect. It comes packed with more lifestyle tips than Vogue and clears more mental clutter than a short course of counseling! Life takes on very different meanings when seen through spiritual eyes, and a level of happiness can be attained that you would struggle to achieve in any other way in western society. Alternative beliefs and practices introduced me to a whole new world that exists around us and deep inside of us all, it offers us wisdom, peace, serenity and self-knowledge. I know of nothing that the global market place can sell to me that is close to the bliss and peace I have felt though my own spiritual explorations. Spirituality for a fabulous modern female is a tool kit of wondrousness. It gives and it gives and it gives. I believe that spirituality can pick up the reigns and help push women’s equality through to the next level of social, spiritual and personal development, otherwise known as Enlightenment! Embracing our soul’s need for comfort and unconditional love is the best place to start, and something that I believe Women will be naturals at! So let us embrace our naturally spiritual tendencies, put out the recycling and explore our spiritual nature. My top tip for a better world - give the overdraft a break and make yourself fabulous from the inside - starting with your very soul! The High Heeled Guide to Enlightenment is available now published by O-Books. Alice’s website: www.alicegrist.co.uk & Come join Alice's spiritual Network for laides who know there is more to life than lipstick! www.highheeledenlightenment.ning.com