They say you never forget your first. No, not that first! I mean your first big book event!

For many authors, book events are part of the early launch efforts, and yet, as my day job requires extensive travel, my first book store event for The Sportscaster’s Daughter was six months after the book's release.  And this wasn’t just any book store; this was the iconic RJ Julia bookstore in Madison, CT RJ Julia is a dying breed – an independent book store that draws big name writers while also supporting new writers. I had been to RJ Julia a few times while visiting my lifelong friend who lives in Madison. I had last been there for a reading by one of my favorite authors, Jodi Picoult. Jodi drew such a crowd, they had to move the event to the local high school. This bookstore is hallowed ground.

Our event was much more low key but equally inspiring—all new memoir authors. Purely coincidental, I was joined by my fellow She Writes Press author, Roni Beth Tower, author of Miracle at Midlife: A Transatlantic Romance (whose book just won gold in the IPPY awards). Who doesn’t love a good romance? I chuckled as she read a scene from her book, her first date with her husband. Her husband attended the event – oh the support! – and didn’t so much as blush as Roni read that flirtatious scene.

I read a scene from The Sportscaster’s Daughter, the chapter “Escape Night.” It’s a tough scene, a scary scene when my brother, sister and I try to run away in the middle of the night after our mother goes bezerk. We don’t run away that night, but our father does get sole custody of us the following weekend. People at the event said the reading was riveting. I have sometimes cried when having to do a reading in writers’ workshops, reliving so much of the pain of the past. The only cure to this is to practice. Practice, practice, practice. Memoir authors in particular have to aim for that out of body experience. I had to keep telling myself: “It’s not me now; it’s the child version of me.” My voice still trembled. I also greatly appreciated a tip from another writer: make your reading an excerpt, specifically edited for a live reading, adding context, and deleting parts that would have required someone to have read the previous chapters.

Some other things I learned from my first book event:

• Bring a prop: One fellow panelist brought art work featured in her book. So at my next event at a library, I kicked the event off by playing an aircheck from my father’s disc jockey days at WABC. It set the scene, bringing people back to the late 1970s, the image of me as a child in the studio with him made more clear.  After playing the aircheck, one reader even correctly recalled the year, based on the song played (Sister Sledge, We are Family, 1979).
• Be prepared for the hard questions. I had done some book clubs throughout the fall, but at these events, the questions seemed harder, more pointed. One person asked, who do I now think is more of a monster-my father or my mother. My answer: neither. Another asked: are my brother, sister, and I still close, because that is how “The Escape” chapter ends; our father tells us we have to stick together. The answer to that is the long, sad story of my book. And at the library event: have I had a lot of therapy or how did I turn out so normal.
• Thank your hosts: Book stores rarely sell enough books at an event to justify the costs of hosting them. It is as much a labor of love for them as it is for us writers.
• Remember the big picture: Your event may not be a sell out like a big name author’s. But if you have just one good interaction, be grateful for this. For me, being able to touch just one person— to help them find their inner strength or heal a family rift —brings me purpose in sharing my story. There is also the long tail of connections to other authors and the associated promotion of the event, whether in papers, social media, the store’s newsletter and website.

In fact, it was at a library event that one reader told me about a facebook group that he thought would want to know about my book. Through that connection, I landed a radio interview with America Weekend Radio host Ed Kalegi. If you’re in mid New Jersey, you can hear it this Sunday, April 16 about 9 a.m. or streamed at woldradio.com, syndicated to other radio stations. Both events connected me with fellow authors that have led to additional book store events. And as I write this blog, author Rifka Kreiter, Home Free, confirmed a joint event at another iconic bookstore, Watchung Booksellers, Montclair, NJ, June 14th.  All of this, started with my first.