This blog was featured on 07/24/2019
You're Good Enough Just as You Are
Contributor

Do you think that you are good enough just as you are or do you keep comparing yourself to others?  Comparison; we all do it.  Our society is quick to compare everything and determine who is more worthy. Who has the newest smart phone?  How was she able to loose lose last 10 pounds that I can’t lose?  Look how successful the new business she just started; where does she find the time?  In our journals, we are quick to compare our talents, or lack thereof, with those who are so much more talented then we believe we could ever be.  So are you good enough?  How do you define your worthiness?

Let me clearly state right now that you are good enough because you were born a unique individual.  No one else on this planet is like you, so you really can’t compare yourself to anyone.  You may be similar to others.  Some may like to paint but not the way you paint.  We may like Sci-Fi movies but we have different favorites.  You just being authentically you- is good enough.  No more, no less.  Let’s take a look at where our incorrect thinking about our worthiness comes from. 

A single sunbeam is enough to drive away many shadows. ~Francis of Assisi

Replay of the Tapes in our Heads

When I was a teenager my mother told me that I wasn’t strong and that if I was left alone in the woods I wouldn’t survive.  This was her version of saying that I wasn’t good enough.  When she told me this it made me angry but I didn’t realize until years later that I kept playing this tape recording in my head every time I found myself in a tough situation.   I wouldn’t survive; I wasn’t good enough to take care of myself. I wasn’t worthy.  I didn’t have confidence in myself.

Guess what, I am still here!  Therefore, I have proven, time and time again, that I am a survivor despite what my mother had told me.  Yet, decades later this still comes up so why haven’t I let it go?  Why don’t I realize that what she said was wrong? Why do I question my worthiness?

You have enough people and circumstances against you; don’t be against yourself. When the negative comes up, do yourself a favor and delete it. Switch over to the right recording.  ~Joel Osteen

The Ego Keeps only Negative Recordings

I actually do know that I am a survivor and that I am good enough but my ego likes to remind me what my mother stated over thirty years ago.  The ego is the keeper of our negative tape recordings which is negative self talk.  For some reason it doesn’t keep records of all the ways we have proven that we are good enough, just those times we have failed at something.  Thus substantiating we aren’t worthy.

Failure is not a condemnation about whether or not we are good enough.  Disappointment is proof that we are survivors.  It shows that we are willing to take risks and try new things.  Frustration illustrates our courageous natures.  Regret demonstrates that we are brave for taking the chance.  Failure confirms our resilience and therefore is evidence that we are good enough.  We are worthy. 

The ultimate aim of the ego is not to see something, but to be something.  ~Muhammad Iqbal

Expectations

Expectations are those things others may impose upon us or more likely we impose upon ourselves.  These hopes, when they don’t become realities, are the failures the ego uses to cut us down.  These self-inflected wounds are the so called proof we use to tell ourselves that we aren’t good enough.

Again, it’s a lie.  A huge lie we keep telling ourselves.  Well, it is a lie that our ego screams and shouts at us

The truth, when we look deep within our authentic selves, is that we do know we are enough.  As we try our best in all we do, we realize that our best is enough.  Doing our best in every situation is an antidote to disappointment. Because when things don’t turn out like we want we still can gain from the situation.  By learning from our missteps, we retain our value because we know we will do better next time. 

Maybe my best isn't as good as someone else's, but for a lot of people, my best is enough. Most importantly, for me it's enough.  ~ Lindsey Stirling

Mindsets

If you have a fixed mindset then you will latch onto the disappointment as more proof that you are not enough.  Here again you didn’t do it right, so why bother trying again in the future?  You use the past as evidence that you will repeat the mistake.  Of course, if you don’t learn from the misstep then you will be completely correct.  Learning from the past is how you can make changes so that your future outcomes are more like you desire.

However, when you have a growth mindset then your recovery from a failure is much faster.  This is because you analyze the situation and you make a conscious decision to learn from it.  What went right, what went wrong, how can you improve?  By asking yourself these questions you bounce back from frustration quicker because you know you can.  You are enough and you have shown yourself over time that you are resilient and you are able to move out of our comfort zone

All we have to do is forgive ourselves wholly and completely forever thinking that we are not good enough!  ~ Jodi Aman

The Truth of Who We Are 

A few years back I took an online course by Brené Brown based on her book, The Gifts of Imperfection.  In this course her goal is to help bolster our self-esteem and personal development.  One of the exercises is to write “I am good enough” on our hand in the morning and look at it throughout the day to remind ourselves of our inherent worthiness.  Hence the cover picture for this article. 

Through the course I was reminded that we are eternal beings and are limitless. Our true self is pure love personified. Therefore, our journey towards living our lives isn’t about searching for anything outside of ourselves. It’s about discovering the love that is already within us, and expressing it in all of our relationships. 

The realization that we are pure love is evidence that we are enough.  Our creation by a Divine source is tangible evidence that we are worthy and we are good enough just the way we are.  The hard part is for us to believe that timeless truth. 

Because true belonging only happens when we present our authentic, imperfect selves to the world, our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self-acceptance.  ~ Brené Brown

Acceptance of Our True Selves

Since the ego has been yelling at you about your unworthiness for so long, it takes a conscious effort on our part to alter our thinking patterns.  From an evidence based scenario we can see that over a period of time that we’ve had successes.  We have overcome some fears.  Changing our perspective, although not easy, was something we accomplished in order to create a better workplace environment.  There are indications that we want to learn from our mistakes.  Therefore, we are good enough.  We are worthy.    

Since there is evidence, you can now start reminding yourself that you are good enough just as you are right now.  Yes, you have made errors, but since you have learned from them, the growth mindset shows that you have overcome that mistake.  You have changed your perspective therefore; the past doesn’t determine your future.  Your choices today, determine tomorrow.  Choose wisely.

You are valuable because you exist. Not because of what you do or what you have done, but simply because you are. ~ Max Lucado

You are Worthy & More than Enough

The most important day is the day you decide you're good enough for you. It's the day you set yourself free.  Free from the negative tape recordings the ego tries to replay. Free from the expectations we take on or impose upon ourselves.  Free from the limited mindset which can’t learn from the mistakes that are made. 

We have judged ourselves out of our natural state - we can only be who we are and it is good enough.  We are worthy just as we are.  When we do our best as we move forward in life, taking risks, learning as we go, our authentic selves emerge and thrive.  Again, we see the proof that we are good enough and worthy just by being authentically you.

Real love is accepting other people the way they are without trying to change them. If we try to change them it means we don’t really like them. ~ Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements

As you become more mindful of the tapes playing in your head and become conscious about your mindsets you can alter the trajectory of your life.  If you would like to receive more informative and mindful articles right into your mailbox fill this out now.

Do you need help becoming aware of your own worthiness?  Do you need support in overcoming your negative self talk?  Do you want a strategy to help you create a marvelous life?  If so please contact me and we can put together an action plan for you to be authentically you and for you to know that you are good enough.  You are worthy.

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