How Our Expectations Limit Results
Written by
She Writes
October 2019
Written by
She Writes
October 2019

This excerpt is from Shannon Kaiser's latest book Joy Seeker. As writers, our career may look blissfully artistic on the outside, but as anyone who has attempted this pursuit knows, it can often be hard, thankless work. In this excerpt, Shannon is discussing something all writers and aspiring authors can take to heart. Find joy and gratitude in your work with this uplifting excerpt and make sure you pick up the book, releasing this month. 

About the Book

“One of the freshest voices in mental health and wellness.”
—Marci Shimoff, New York Times bestselling author of Chicken Soup for the Woman’s Soul
Do you feel like you’re not where you’re supposed to be, off track or simply exhausted from trying so hard to make things work?

Your “true self” has an easier plan—and is just aching to show you the way.

The relentless pressure to succeed, measure up, and reach for ever higher goals can leave us feeling like we’re just not good enough—or that something’s missing. At the end of the day, after giving it our all, the last thing we want to feel is hopeless, anxious, and disconnected.

International speaker and empowerment coach Shannon Kaiser understands why so many of us, despite our best intentions, cling to these patterns. Better yet, Kaiser knows how to get us out of the vicious, draining cycle. Committed to finding meaning, connection, and joy in our day-to-day lives, she’s traveled the world in search of the universal truths and spiritual wisdom we desperately need today. Joy Seeker is her transformational approach to life, drawn from her own life-changing experiences. It is a path to discovering our true self—the hero within.

How Our Expectations Limit Results

By Shannon Kaiser

The author of the new book Joy Seeker shows us how to release expectations and trust the journey.

A few years ago, I moved to Hawaii for three months with the goal to move there full-time. My outcome, the breakthrough I wanted, was to be an island girl. But when I went and wrote my book, challenges came up. Huge challenges that actually made it difficult to write portions of the book and run my coaching business. When I was in Kauai, it was common for the power on part of the island to go out (the part I was on of course). I would be on a coaching call and suddenly the internet dropped, or I would be in the middle of uploading a video to YouTube and everything would disappear. That and the tsunami warnings made it hard for me to focus. At first, I was furious because the reality of living on a tropical island was not matching the dream I had in my head. But then I shifted my anger to appreciation. As Tony Robbins says, “You can’t be angry and grateful at the same time.” What I needed to do was take stock and look at my circumstances without emotion. I removed my frustration and looked at the pros and cons of living on an island. I had been there for three months and the final month of working was very painful for me. Nothing was working, so everything took extra-long to do. I didn’t know it at the time but there were lessons presenting themselves to me. When nothing was flowing in Hawaii, and I kept holding on and digging my feet in to try to make it work and prove to myself and others that I could make it work, the Universe was actually teaching me a valuable lesson: It’s okay to change course. In retrospect, I should have recognized that that dream had an expiration date and I stayed past it. I had learned everything I needed and could have left early to finish my book in a place that brought me more joy, but I hunkered down and pushed through. (Which is why, in my Joy Seeker Journey traveling the world, it was much easier to recognize the signs from the Universe and be okay with changing course. I had learned we never have to stay in situations that don’t make us feel good.)

We often do this: We roll up our sleeves and fight against what is not working. The most important thing is your joy. It is essential you focus on feeling it. If you aren’t happy or feeling connected to your experiences, then it’s time to reevaluate. In this part of your journey, don’t be afraid to change course or at least consider what else could be. If you hold on like I did in Hawaii, you actually waste time and energy in your precious life and most importantly, you aren’t honoring yourself.

Excerpted with permission from Joy Seeker: Let Go of What's Holding You Back So You Can Live the Life You Were Made For by Shannon Kaiser,  published by Citadel, an imprint of Kensington Press. Copyright 2019.

Shannon Kaiser is the bestselling author of five books on the psychology of happiness and fulfillment, including the #1 bestseller, The Self-Love Experiment and Adventures for Your Soul. As an international life coach, speaker and retreat leader, she helps people trust and believe in themselves so they can live their highest potential. She’s been named a top 100 Women to Watch in wellness by mindbodygreen and “your-go-to happiness booster” by Health magazine. She has also been recognized as a Must-Follow Instagram Account for Inspiration by Entrepreneur magazine and a Top Facebook Account for Daily Motivation by mindbodygreen. Visit her website at and follow on social media @ShannonKaiserWrites

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