How to Connect with Others by Responding with Love
Contributor

Connecting with others is vital for us to be happy humans.  And we know that the only real way for us to bond authentically with others is through love.    So, how do we love all those that come and go from our daily lives, even the ones we would rather not deal with who come along our path?  We consciously choose to make genuine connections with these people as well by responding with love in our interactions with them. 

 

We all know that being kind to others despite their nastiness to us is the proper way to respond, but we tend to react without thinking and return their inappropriate behavior with unkindness.  This spitefulness does nothing but perpetuates the negativity which we shouldn’t do.  Therefore by responding lovingly, we can alter both of our paths. 

 

When one has once fully entered the realm of love, the world — no matter how imperfect — becomes rich and beautiful, it consists solely of opportunities for love. ~ Søren Kierkegaard

 

Lovingly Respond by Respecting Others

 

By respecting one another’s differences, we recognize that we all have a unique perspective.  We don’t live the same lives as others.  We each have a distinctive point of view based on our past experiences, personality, environment, education, capabilities, and the caring support we may or may not have felt. 

 

You need to be open to understanding that others want to be respected as individuals, just like you do.  Once you open yourself up to valuing others, you begin to feel more compassionate and accepting.  With acceptance comes, non-judgment, which allows others to respond to you.  When we feel accepted without judgment, we allow ourselves to be authentic and connect with others more easily. 

 

My mother and I had a problematic relationship, but I always treated her with respect.  So, there were times when she was sober that I think we were able to connect authentically.  Despite how Mom acted when she drank, I knew she loved me, and Mom knew I loved her- as individuals.  You can love and respect someone without condoning their other harmful behavior. 

 

We love the things we love for what they are. ~ Robert Frost

 

Give Someone the Benefit of the Doubt

 

It’s easy to jump to a conclusion based on a lack of information.  Our egoic minds like to find fault and judge others to inflate itself.  Therefore, we need to look at alternative reasons for the behaviors of others. 

 

If a driver is tailgating you, you move out of his way, and he flies by, calling him a name or giving him obscene finger gestures doesn’t do anyone any good.  Perhaps he is only a crazy driver, but give him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe the person just got off the phone and is heading to the emergency room because their father just had a heart attack. You don’t know the circumstances in their life. 

 

You may want to rethink your opinion of someone by looking at them in a new light. Releasing any previous judgments about another can allow an authentic connection to occur.  By looking for alternatives for behaviors that you find upsetting, you can release the negative feelings you are harboring. 

 

The only way love can last a lifetime is if it's unconditional. The truth is this: love is not determined by the one being loved but rather by the one choosing to love. ~ Stephen Kendrick          

                                                     

Let go of Control as a Lovingly Response

 

Trying to change people’s minds to agree with you is controlling.  When you impose your opinions or beliefs onto others, they tend to move away from you, and a genuine connection isn’t possible.  As separate people, we all have differences in ideas, and we all need to develop these thoughts at our own rate.  I can’t make you learn a lesson that I have learned until you are ready to receive the information I am trying to provide. 

 

My husband is a very patient man.  On more than one occasion, he has told me that I needed to change how I was looking at an issue, but I am tenacious and have to learn things in my own time.  Over time, sometimes decades, I do come around to agreeing with him.  Now he could have been spiteful about these times, but he understood that I have to learn things in ways that make sense to me. 

 

By releasing the desire to forcibly trying to change someone's mind, you allow the loving connection you have to build trust in the opinion that you offer.  You can, over time, provide facts to support your idea in a way that allows the other to ponder the concept in their own way, which my husband did.  This thinking will enable them to come to their own conclusion in their own time. 

 

Shine your soul with the same egoless humility as the rainbow, and no matter where you go in this world or the next, love will find you, attend you, and bless you. ~ Aberjhani

 

Agree to Disagree is a Loving Response 

 

We don’t have to agree with a person to respond with love and authentically connect with them.  Those who push our opinions and make us look at an issue in a different light help us develop in ways we can’t imagine.  Be open to learn from the exchange of information you both offer on the subject. 

 

As we consciously choose to disagree with another, we need to learn to attach ourselves to the mantra from The Four Agreement’s, not to take anything personally.  We are to listen to what the other is trying to communicate to us.  We are to stay calm and understand that as individuals, we have different perspectives based on the lives we lived. 

 

If the discussion gets too heated, take a deep breath and take a step back.  Focus on the facts and don’t get personal by belittling one another.  No difference of opinion should cause an authentic connection to break.  Look for the common ground you both have on the subject.  We all are human, and we all have more in common, then we think.

 

Love is absolute loyalty. People fade, looks fade, but loyalty never fades. You can depend so much on certain people; you can set your watch by them. And that’s love, even if it doesn’t seem very exciting. ~ Sylvester Stallone

 

Taking Responsibility for our Part is a Loving Response

 

We need to take responsibility for our part in our relationships.  The times we misunderstood the other, we need to apologize.  We need to let go of control and forgive the other for anything they apologize for in hurting us.  We need to realize when we responded out of a place of fear and consciously make amends for our unloving actions.

 

Reacting comes from a place of fear because we aren’t pausing to evaluate the situation.  A response occurs when we take a moment to assess what is happening and answer accordingly.  When we accept responsibility, we empower ourselves to change the situation. 

 

We are responsible for our thoughts, emotions, words, and actions.  No one can make us react in a way that we don’t choose to do.  Therefore, it is our fault for saying hurtful words.  We are accountable for how we feel, and we can arrange to feel differently.  We choose not to blame others for anything as it keeps us in a victim mentality and doesn’t allow us to move forward.

 

When we make a genuine connection with another, which is when we find out just how amazing they are, we see others with the new lens of love instead of through our egotistical ideas of whom we want them to be. 

 

Love is our most unifying and empowering common spiritual denominator. The more we ignore its potential to bring greater balance and deeper meaning to human existence, the more likely we are to continue to define history as one long inglorious record of man’s inhumanity to man. ~ Aberjhani

 

Look for the Good in Others

 

Slow down and become aware of all the goodness around you.  You must be fully present to see all that is worthy of your notice.  Take a deep breath and look around; really look around at the people.  Observe them and what they are doing.  See who they are through your lens of love. 

 

In our day to day lives, everyone we come in contact with has something good we can see in them.  There’s the same light, the same Divine Spirit in them that is in us.  Therefore, look at everyone through this lens.  See the kindness in his eyes as he holds the door open for you.  Look for the gentleness in her as she carefully cares for the child.  Good abounds all around us if we are open and aware.

 

See the abilities of others, by doing so, and you can learn to appreciate them and the talent they have.  Look for the many virtues of the people around you: the determination of a co-worker to learn a new skill, the patience of the busy receptionist listening to the story of an elder, the energy of the valet during the peak dinner rush.  When you take a moment, you see the goodness everywhere. 

                                                         

To love another person is to see the face of God. ~ Victor Hugo

 

Compassion is a Way to Respond with Love

 

You are to love those around you for who they are, just as they are.  A compassionate response of the heart is its ability to engage with the pain and suffering of another in a gentle, accepting way while showing strength.  The motivation behind compassion is to reduce the suffering of another. 

 

I think compassion for another is the ability to see a part of you in another person.  The same Spirit that is in me is in them, and we want no one to suffer.  We are more alike than we are different, and when we pause for a moment and see the other person, we can see the similarities.  We all fear not being valued and acknowledged, so love and accept all those who cross your path. 

 

We show compassion by growing beyond the perpetual misunderstandings that occur all around us.  Be fully present and aware of what is happening around you so you can respond lovingly to each other by showing your compassion for your fellow human beings.

 

I have found the paradox that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love. ~ Mother Teresa

 

Moving Forward

 

Responding with love in all our interactions with others is how we can authentically connect with everyone we meet.  Through the vehicle of compassion, all interactions with people can be loving. 

 

  • When you are angry with another, compassion can take it away.
  • When you feel judgment towards someone, compassion is the cure
  • As you start to build walls around you, compassion is what tears them down.
  • When you have trouble seeing the humanity of a fellow human being and see them as separate, compassion brings togetherness.
  • All negativity caused by fear is driven out by compassion.

 

Love is a promise; love is a souvenir, once given never forgotten, never let it disappear. ~ John Lennon

 

As you decide to create loving connections through compassion with others and become conscious about your mindset, you can alter the course of your life.   To receive more enlightening articles right into your email, fill this out now.

Do you need help in being compassionate with others?  Do you need support in making authentic and loving connections with others?  Do you want a strategy to help you create a remarkable life?  If so, please contact me, and we can put together an action plan for you to be authentically you and for you to know that you are enough.

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