I miss you my crush after realising it
Contributor
Written by
Jolie Andre
March 2020
Writing
Contributor
Written by
Jolie Andre
March 2020
Writing

I used to take the same bus as you did every morning, Monday through Friday. Sooner I realised, our time was almost same so I used to see you frequently at the same time. Your hairs, well trimmed beard and cute eyes were something to attract me towards you. I silently used to see you and also noticed you seeing me as well. Having a silent crush for someone is not bad but if you feel the next step can be taken, one should do it. Either you win or you lose, but you take a chance at least. I realised, I myself did not take that step ever, even though our eyes kept meeting every morning for six months until my job location changed. Once I had thought I will take a day off and go through the same bus route we used to see each other from a distance of few meters but the job responsibilities never allowed me to do so. Over the time, it just remained in my memories. Dear crush, I used to think about you even sometimes in my dreams too.

After getting into the next job, I met a guy who was very sweet during the first couple of months. The dating was going well and we spent good time together. The memories of my crush never faded completely though someone else was in front of me so the priority always went to him. I must confess, I still used to think about how sweetly we used to see each other, sometimes smile and bowing the face down due to shyness when direct eyes met. Was I cheating in my relationship? No! I was not cheating him and still I was not able to forget what was there in you that it still used to kept attracting me towards you, dear crush? We never talked as well but the attraction was quite strong I feel. 

After being in the relationship for around six months when I got promoted to the next level, the behaviour of the person with whom I was in the relationship started changing abruptly. If you have true feelings you feel proud of their success and not feel jealous. He confessed that since I was earning higher than him, he can't be in a relationship with me anymore. I was shattered listening to all this. I have my own career and dreams apart from a relationship and must keep moving ahead in my life. I had no option but to accept his decision as my words did not even impact him at all. 

That night I again thought about you my crush. We saw each other, we smiled at each other but you never had any complaints about what I do, how much I earn, and you never decided what should I wear daily. We just saw each other. I wish I had approached you or would have sticked to my decision of taking a day off and going back to the same bus stop at the same time to see you. Take the same bus again and try to talk to you. I have decided I will take at least a week off and go daily in the morning at the same time we used to meet. If at all I will see you, I want to tell you, I feel the purity of the feeling which we feel in seeing each other. Even being a crush you never misbehaved in the whole six months and now I am willing to take the next step for us, if you feel we can talk, we will. I understood, some relationships are simply materialistic and very meaningful in our lives. I miss you my crush. I wish to meet you soon again and have you in my life.

Let's be friends

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