Hair Care if You Dare
Written by
SJ Lee
March 2020
Written by
SJ Lee
March 2020

Okay, girl.  Walk with me, talk with me.  I've seen the enemy.  It is that moptop that you call a hairdo staking its claim on top of your dome.  Can you, please, get it together?

That had been my inner dialogue for more years than I care to count.  It was a little sad being a woman of a certain age and only having TWO styles in my natural hair care repertoire.  It was, certainly, a long battle of learning to love the mop on my top.  I'm happy to announce that I have won the war!  The love I battled for is a sweet cold glass of lemonade during a July heatwave.  It is sweet, refreshing, and satisfying!  

However, I was too busy dodging bombs and bullets in the war for self appreciation.  I never learned to correctly care for my coils au naturale.  I was started on relaxers before I was old enough to not count on my fingers.  Ya girl was hooked!  I adored the styles I could achieve.  I forgot that I ever had kinks.  I kept regular salon appointments, and I will never forget the night that I learned the pre-bedtime hair-wrapping secret to success.  

Oh!  I felt so much glee knowing that I was protecting my hair with headscarf armor.  But, after many years of that the damage began to show.  I couldn't accessorize a chemically induced receding hairline.  That isn't a good look for me!  So, I made the decision to learn to love my natural hair.

As great as that decision was I never learned to care for it properly.  I did get to the point where I could joyfully rock an afro without shame.  I could do it better than your momma's, best friend's, little sister during her disco darling days!  Still, that didn't mean I understood how to best care for my coils.  Fast-forward to many years later, and I have FINALLY decided to get out of my hair rut.

I'm ready to learn, master!  May I be the student to your teacher?

Granted, I am no beautician, but did you know that hair as thirsty as mine thrives when watered?  I know, right?!  One doesn't need to be a detective to solve that mystery.  One would think that would have been obvious to me previously.  I'm just now figuring this out, girl!  

I'm also learning that I can attain gorgeous styles without toxic chemicals, paying a professional (though, at times, I feel like I'm gonna NEED "professional help" trying to learn my hair...girl!), or lots of cash money.  I only need a little tender love and care with a side of patience.  I anticipate having temper tantrums in the future.  I'll want to reach for the scissors on impulse.  Then, I will take a breath.  

I will make a cup of chai tea.  I will add my favorite honey and almond milk for flavor.  I will reflect on what I love about my hair between each sip.  I will take another breath.  I will try again.  If I can still hold a wide tooth comb in one hand and moisturizer in the other I will treat these curls better...root to tip.   

Let's be friends

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