Okay, girl. Walk with me, talk with me. I've seen the enemy. It is that moptop that you call a hairdo staking its claim on top of your dome. Can you, please, get it together?
That had been my inner dialogue for more years than I care to count. It was a little sad being a woman of a certain age and only having TWO styles in my natural hair care repertoire. It was, certainly, a long battle of learning to love the mop on my top. I'm happy to announce that I have won the war! The love I battled for is a sweet cold glass of lemonade during a July heatwave. It is sweet, refreshing, and satisfying!
However, I was too busy dodging bombs and bullets in the war for self appreciation. I never learned to correctly care for my coils au naturale. I was started on relaxers before I was old enough to not count on my fingers. Ya girl was hooked! I adored the styles I could achieve. I forgot that I ever had kinks. I kept regular salon appointments, and I will never forget the night that I learned the pre-bedtime hair-wrapping secret to success.
Oh! I felt so much glee knowing that I was protecting my hair with headscarf armor. But, after many years of that the damage began to show. I couldn't accessorize a chemically induced receding hairline. That isn't a good look for me! So, I made the decision to learn to love my natural hair.
As great as that decision was I never learned to care for it properly. I did get to the point where I could joyfully rock an afro without shame. I could do it better than your momma's, best friend's, little sister during her disco darling days! Still, that didn't mean I understood how to best care for my coils. Fast-forward to many years later, and I have FINALLY decided to get out of my hair rut.
I'm ready to learn, master! May I be the student to your teacher?
Granted, I am no beautician, but did you know that hair as thirsty as mine thrives when watered? I know, right?! One doesn't need to be a detective to solve that mystery. One would think that would have been obvious to me previously. I'm just now figuring this out, girl!
I'm also learning that I can attain gorgeous styles without toxic chemicals, paying a professional (though, at times, I feel like I'm gonna NEED "professional help" trying to learn my hair...girl!), or lots of cash money. I only need a little tender love and care with a side of patience. I anticipate having temper tantrums in the future. I'll want to reach for the scissors on impulse. Then, I will take a breath.
I will make a cup of chai tea. I will add my favorite honey and almond milk for flavor. I will reflect on what I love about my hair between each sip. I will take another breath. I will try again. If I can still hold a wide tooth comb in one hand and moisturizer in the other I will treat these curls better...root to tip.