Things I Did Wrong — Things I Did Right. My Memoir Process.

Things I Did Wrong:

I showed too many people my early drafts. This resulted in me changing the whole memoir from past tense to present tense and back again (and there’s no Replace All function for tense).

I didn’t trust my own voice. I made edits based on what my early readers thought would improve my memoir.  Almost every one of these changes ended up sounding clunky and inauthentic.

I didn’t have an outline. This resulted in meandering, off-tangent stories that weren’t part of my memoir. Because I had so much material to sift through, I veered off my Japan story and found myself wading through stories about Nepal and Thailand.

I didn’t set myself deadlines. This resulted in procrastination. Enough said.

I tried to edit from my computer screen. This resulted in my going almost cross-eyed, not seeing the bigger picture, and missing countless mistakes.

I didn’t prioritize my writing time. I put everything and everyone else first, and would write within the cracks of time. This. Does. Not. Work.

I didn’t understand filing, labeling, and how to store folders on my desktop. I didn’t know the difference between Save and Save As, which resulted in countless versions. This caused many days lost, tears, and I never want to write again feelings of exasperation.

What I Did Right:

I believed in myself. Never, ever have I thought my story wasn’t worth telling. On the contrary. If I died today, my only regret would be that I didn’t finish my book.

I persevered. I wrote in all my free time. I went to coffee shops. I went away for a solo writing weekend here and there when finances and time allowed.

I talked about my memoir. The more others were excited about my project, the more inspired I became to finish it. (And it held me accountable.)

I read excerpts of my memoir at Open Readings around town. This taught me about public speaking, and helped me gain the respect and interest from the literary community in my city.

I read A LOT of memoirs. I applied myself to study the craft through authors I love.

I entered writing contests. I won several and I placed second in several. Positive feedback from the judges rekindled my writing flame and gave me that kick to keep writing.

I applied for scholarships and writing retreats. I went to writing conferences. I immersed myself in a literary community. One of the scholarships I received was for the San Miguel Writers Conference, where I met Brooke Warner. I then took a six-month memoir course that she co-taught with Linda Joy Myers. I then hired Brooke as a private writing coach. This was paramount in getting a comprehensive lay of the land in regards to structuring my memoir.

I started giving myself deadlines.

I kept a handwritten journal for every time I had an idea for my memoir. I’d free write around it and then insert it when the time was right.

*A note on writing groups. I think that being part of a cohesive writing group is invaluable. I was part of a group called the ‘Non-Fictionistas’ for a few years. Getting and giving honest, constructive feedback is almost imperative for a writer IF the timing is right. Showing one’s work prematurely to too many people can be an immense time and energy drain on the writer and the readers alike. If your manuscript is at a place where you are happy to have it critiqued, then a writing group is like gold. If you are scrambling to put the pieces together or are short on free time (which would make it difficult to do a good job honestly critiquing others work), then maybe keep it in mind for when you have a solid first draft of your memoir completed.