Story Structure Got You Stumped? Have a Breakdown!
Contributor
Written by
Heidi Hornbacher
February 2016
Contributor
Written by
Heidi Hornbacher
February 2016

We’ve all been there. You start off with an idea that you know has legs. You have captivating characters, fun twists, and maybe an original set piece (no one has driven a Lamborghini onto a helicopter yet!) or a deep emotional moment or two. But something’s not working. You’ve hit a wall. Maybe you’ve even gotten notes from trusted readers, and either you disagree with them or you can’t figure out how to integrate them successfully. Those idea legs have gotten shaky and tired. But that doesn’t necessarily mean that your script has to sit out the next round of contests.

Last week, I worked with a client on a TV pilot she’s creating. It’s a procedural with a fun twist. The problem was that the procedure itself was too flat and too easy. As viewers, we’ve become really sophisticated in solving TV crime and woe to the writer who doesn’t stay a step or two ahead of our inner Sherlock.

For a start, I asked, “Have you seen Elementary?” She hadn’t, so she watched a few episodes. “Do a breakdown,” I suggested. She’d gotten the basic idea, she said. “No,” I countered. “Watching films and TV that really work on a script level is fun and enjoyable, sure. But solid entertainment is also a free education just sitting there at our fingertips. We can take advantage of that education with a more active watching approach: a story breakdown.”

“That will take a long time,” she sighed. “Yes, yes it will.” I said. “But creating an amazing script takes time. Why not invest a little in your ongoing education?”

When you do a breakdown, I’m not suggesting that you simply write a description of the action: Joan walks into the kitchen and discovers Sherlock dumping honey down the drain. Then they visit the crime scene. I’m suggesting that you reverse engineer the story as though you were writing the outline. So an entry for an individual scene might look like this:

B story: Joan wants to get to the sink but she can’t because Sherlock is dumping honey down the drain. She confronts him on food waste and Sherlock reveals he’s fallen out with his father, who won’t be visiting again. They get a call from Detective Bell with new case info and leave.

This was a scene about the characters’ personal relationships, thus it’s part of a B or C story, not the A story, which in a procedural is always the crime. The writer’s goal in the scene was for Sherlock to communicate to Joan that he’d fallen out with his father. The honey was something they had on hand for his father’s tea. Thus, Sherlock’s action in dumping the honey made that internal goal external and active — it made it visual. Imagine how boring that scene would be if Joan simply walked in and asked, “Why are you sad?” and Sherlock flatly stated, “My dad and I fought” and Joan said, “Oh. Hey, Bell has a new clue.” It transmits the same basic information, but as audience members we’re not interested.

The scene started with the character goals in opposition, something that’s key to creating a scene with energy and engagement. The fact that Joan’s goal was blocked pushed her to take different action, which naturally led her to confront Sherlock. This was a character-motivated action — you want those! The way the scene was executed shows the petulance of Sherlock’s character, and it also reveals the subtext that he does care about his dad and he’s too proud to admit that he’s hurting over their falling out. (Writing spec dialogue for a character like Sherlock is a great writing exercise because he never talks about anything he truly feels; it’s all subtext.)

Finally, in the overall structure of the show, that scene launches us into the next scene on the A storyline: a new clue in the investigation.

This breakdown training was enormously helpful to my client. Seeing when Elementary plots reveal new clues, and how those clues and complications change the trajectory of the characters, helped her restructure her own work. It helped her see how much more substance and how many more turns her pilot’s investigation may need. It also gave her some great examples of subtle character development.

Breaking down a show or film can help reveal the overall shape of the story. It throws the execution choices the writer made into high relief, so we can learn and also improve our own writing. We can see character goals and outcomes, A versus B versus C storylines, story structure, and plot twists.

You can probably guess that I recommend doing your own script outline this way, too. For each scene, answer these questions: What storyline does the scene serve? What are the characters’ goals and how are they in opposition? What’s the obstacle to the protagonist’s goal? What’s the complication or reveal? What’s the outcome?

Or, more simply put, for each scene write out: “Character 1 (the protagonist driving your action) wants X (goal) but Y (complication or obstacle), so… Z (outcome).”

Doing a breakdown like this for someone else’s movie or TV show helps you gain facility in answering these questions for your own script. Being able to clearly articulate character goals, obstacles, and outcomes will strengthen your understanding of story structure and character motivations. It’s the best way to ferret out those scenes that aren’t doing enough to move your story forward.

For a while, doing breakdowns may make your favorite viewing experiences less fun, but I promise you that such suffering for your art is worth it. Not only will it help you get those story legs back up and running, it will also help you articulate why such a little scene is about so much more than just dumping honey down the drain.

Need help getting the legs back under your script? Visit PageCraft for workshops, retreats, and coaching.

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Comments
  • MK Meredith

    Great article.

  • Heidi Hornbacher

    Thank you so much, Kristin! That's amazing. Where can I subscribe?

  • Great post, Heidi! I've added an image and am going to feature in a newsletter next week!

  • Heidi Hornbacher

    Sounds good. Meanwhile, be well. 

    :) h

  • Evelyn Krieger

    Thanks, Heidi. I'll contact you via PageCraft when my daughter is ready.

  • Heidi Hornbacher

    For one-on-one coaching, writers generally work with me. Our other instructors teach some of our classes but I do also. As a judge for several prominent screenwriting contests, and a writer/director myself I do count as an industry professional if that helps. Several clients I've worked with have gone on to win contests, get agents, etc. off those very projects. With our standard evaluation, I provide 4-6 pages of evaluation and steps for improvement on a script. We also can do live Skype coaching as well. Many folks will do the eval and follow up with a Skype session. Let me know if that's of interest. Thanks!

  • Evelyn Krieger

    I just checked it out.  Can one choose the writer to work with?  She is homeschooled and doing an independent senior project--writing a short TV pilot.  As part of the assessment for this project, she'll need professional feedback.

  • Heidi Hornbacher

    That's wonderful, Evelyn! I hope she finds it helpful. We help a lot of writers at Pagecraft. :)

  • Evelyn Krieger

    I'm going to share this with my daughter, a high school senior and aspiring filmmaker and screenwriter.