Do you ever feel like you’re not a real writer? Do you ever find yourself thinking, If I were more like so-and-so Writer, or, If I were more disciplined or dedicated, or, If I were paid to write, or, If I were a better grammarian or speller, or, If I—fill in the blank—then I’d be a real writer.
As a young writer I used to think real writers sat down at their desks and cranked out effortless prose. Everything flowed. I also believed real writers never doubted their talent. They were smart, gifted, and confident. I’m not sure where these ideas came from; probably a combination of not having known any writers personally and reading books, which were finished projects—and not having any idea what went into making them. Artists often make what they do look easy. I had no idea what revision meant. I figured if something didn’t come out great the first time, it would never be good. This, of course, was a grave misconception. I also thought all writers spent eight hours a day at their desks, five days a week. The few times I managed this, I paid a price with my aching back.
It’s taken me three decades to realize real writers write when and how they can—sometimes in the margins of their lives, in between parenting, jobs, housework, paying bills, and other responsibilities. Real writers worry about not being good enough. They sometimes doubt themselves. Or wonder what the hell they’re doing. Real writers write millions of words, many of which are not elegant or even suitable to be shared. They write shitty first—and second, and third—drafts. They understand the importance of not judging what they write, especially early on in a project, and that much of what they write may not be any good. They accept this and use their weaknesses to help them see where there’s room for growth, and they respect the three P’s: patience, passion, and persistence.
Even so, real writers sometimes wonder if what they have to say is worth reading, or if it’ll make a difference to anyone but themselves. They may not realize that everything they write matters—even the stuff that will never get published. Many question, at some point or another in their career, if all their hard work is worth it. Some may fear they are wasting their time, or even their lives.
There are as many ways to be a writer as there are writers. There’s no correct or right way to do it. It’s tempting to look at another writer’s life, and think, She’s a real writer! But that’s just a story. Pure fiction. Since we all make up stories in our heads about our lives all the time, you may as well write one that supports you and your dreams.
This subject of being a real writer comes up every now and then in my writing classes, and when it does, I tell my students this story: In a piazza somewhere in Italy, two Italian writers work. One is a homeless man who writes with a pencil stub on scraps of paper he pulls out of trashcans. From time to time he looks up at an open window, where another writer sits, typing at his computer. Now there’s a real writer, the homeless man thinks. What he doesn’t know is that the typing man, uninspired and filled with self-doubt, often stops to stare down into the piazza, sees the poor man scribbling away in a passionate frenzy, and thinks to himself, Now there’s a real writer.
I’ve said this before, and I’ll say it again: We rarely recognize our own gifts. If you have the urge to write, it’s your soul talking. Resist the temptation to judge its message or yourself. You are a real writer. The sooner you claim this title, the easier it’ll be to move forward with your work and with your life.
Doubt is part of the terrain. It’s the landscape we inhabit as writers and as human beings. The only thing that makes sense is to navigate this terrain with as much self-compassion, kindness, courage, and conviction as possible. Trust yourself. Do your work. Writers write. There are lots of ways to do this. All you have to do is find what works for you. Show up on the page, get quiet and listen, speak your truth, and honor that your wisdom is enough—and so are you!
This was so great! I know I have felt that way. It was my Sister who told me "I was a real writer the second I said it out loud". It is good to be reminded of that.
Have you been reading my mind? Thank you, Bella. As someone who makes my living speaking and coaching I have been especially hesitant to call or even think of myself as a writer. Even now, as I'm poised to give birth to my first book I hesitate to claim the title. Yet I realize that to deny myself the title is to deny the part of me that writing helped me claim. So...I'll let you in on a little secret...as of this moment...I am a writer. Thank you.
- Cheryl
@ Jennifer-Crystal Johnson: Thanks!
@Bella Mahaya Carter:
"I also ask the Universe for help, and try to get out of my own way so that what needs to come through me flows smoothly!"
GREAT advice!
Congratulations,Augie! Why not both, indeed! Thanks for reading and sharing!
Bella, I couldn't have said it better. You are a writer if you profess to be a writer. Just recently, I sat before a poet after completing a manuscript in regards to a senior project of over 80 poems. I claimed to not be a poet. She looked at me strangely and then I admitted that I was indeed a poet. My passion was to be recognized as an Victorian Mystery writer, so why not both? Why not! So, I'm a mystery writer as well as a poet. This gift was recognized by someone else. As you stated, "If you have the urge to write, it's your soul talking." augie
Artycappuccino: Couldn't agree more. Thanks for reading and commenting!
It's great to hear this every now and again. All people want to know is whether you're published or not. Pouring everything you have onto a page is amazing and difficult, so to have someone question your status is a little soul destroying. Stay strong and be yourself.
catherine harnett: I hear you, Catherine! Misconceptions like that abound! Thanks for reading and weighing in on this issue.
My daughter says if I were a real writer I'd be rich. Why can't I write like Hunger Games or Harry Potter ? Imagine how good that makes me feel? Haha.
Erin Bell: Real writers get rejected all the time! You are in excellent company! And most of us don't have degrees in creative writing! Thanks for reading and sharing! Good luck with your novel.
Patricia Robertson: Thanks for reading and responding. Glad this came at a good time for you. We ALL need to be reminded about these things!
Carson Gleberman: So glad this post helped liberate you from that fear and excuse! Funny that you wrote about Pinocchio—I almost chose a photo of him to accompany this piece!
Clene` S. Elder: I agree with Mardith Louisell: you've got a great sense of humor, which will take you a long way! Thanks for reading and responding!
Jennifer-Crystal Johnson: When I start wondering if I'll ever be able to do my idea justice, I try to bring myself back into the present moment. I also ask the Universe for help, and try to get out of my own way so that what needs to come through me flows smoothly! Thanks for reading. I enjoyed your response!
This post is so perfect. With an as-yet-unpublished novel, every rejection I receive makes me feel less and less like a real writer, even though those who have read it encourage me, and even though I have had a few short stories published in an online magazine. I also get intimidated by the fact that I didn't get my degree in writing, and I look at those who have MFAs, or even just BAs in creative writing or journalism or what have you, and feel like there's no way I can measure up.
But I have stories in my head every moment, and I... well, I just have to write. So I, too, am a real writer. I just have to keep reminding myself of that and not fear putting pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard).
Thanks for helping keep that reminder alive.
Needed to be reminded of this today. Everything we write matters even our less stellar efforts.
Thanks so much for this post! I love the piazza story: we all think someone else has figured out the magic process that will turn us into "real" writers, if not bring the muse daily. It's good to have a reminder that just like for Pinocchio, DOING as a real boy/writer/lover/whatever is what MAKES you a real whatever. Or, at least, no less unreal than anyone else in that pursuit.I found it especially reassuring that even getting "regular" work hours was not necessarily a magic key. In these days when more and more work is fractured "gigs" and we all juggle many roles, I fear I may never have a single whole day to write. Thank you - since there is no need for such a thing in order to really write, you have liberated me from that fear and that excuse.
Clene', your response is very very funny. I love it.
Great piece! I think every writer has their doubts from time to time. I struggle with a lot of different aspects of it, including being a single mom of three with what seems like no time to write. However, when the urge to get a story out really takes over, it doesn't matter what I'm doing - I'll make the time to write.
Fiction still intimidates me, though. I'm working on a novel right now that I've been kicking around in my head for the past two years or more and the more I think about it, research, and brainstorm, the more ideas I have, and the more intimidating the project is.
Then there's the big question: can I do my idea justice?
It's good to come across inspirational articles, stories, etc. to help me keep pushing forward even when I have my doubts. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this =).
Jen