This is a question that’s been on my mind this week as I’m struggling to start my second book. This spring I made a bold decision that I would start taking Fridays off to write. I was going to start the first Friday in April. That Friday I spent the whole day catching up on e-mail and running errands. The second and third Fridays I scheduled a few client calls—nothing that was going to distract me from my writing. After all, I still ostensibly had a full five-hour chunk of time to write. Well, didn’t happen. The fourth Friday my mom was in town, so I took the day off. And the fifth Friday, to my horror, I saw that I’d booked my entire day with appointments, which I’d justified due to having taken a few days off work the previous week.
And so a question was up for me this weekend as I faced myself (literally, in the mirror—nothing short of confrontational) in my Bikram class: What is motivating me to write this book? And more to the point, what needs to happen in order for me write this book?
The past five weeks has allowed me a window into what procrastination feels like. Not like I haven’t felt it before. But the worst part about it is that the more you put something off the bigger and more intense the thing you’re supposed to be doing starts to feel. When I thought about writing my book leading into April, I felt excited. When I thought about writing my book leading into May, with four weeks of not doing it behind me, my resolve was really low.
I support people to write books for a living, and I know that procrastination is just a symptom of being disconnected from your book. I have found with my clients that the best way to get rolling again is to get in touch with why they write in the first place. Squatting in eagle pose this weekend, a horrible idea occurred to me: I’m writing this book because I think I should.
Well, turns out it’s true. I am not like many of the novelists and memoirists I work with, for whom writing is breathing, who are writing a book that’s been begging to be written for years. I am writing a prescriptive book, and I’m doing it for my career.
But then I thought, But that’s not the whole truth.
I am also writing because I am passionate about my ideas. I want to change minds. I want to inspire writers not only to write, but to believe in themselves, to see their work published, to follow through on their big, audacious dreams.
So it’s both. I think I should write another book, and that’s okay. But thinking I should is not going to be what motivates me to get it done. What will make it happen is reconnecting with why the book I’m writing matters—to me and to my future readers.
I know that writing a book is like toning your body. It takes time and perseverance and discipline, and as much as we might want it, it’s not going to happen unless you show up and do the work. When I wrote my first book, I had a one-year-old, I was working full-time, and I wanted to see if I could write it in six months (as an experiment for the class I was about to launch at the time—Write Your Memoir in Six Months). Well, I did it, but only by declaring my goals out loud in the most public way. Because I was publishing with She Writes Press (and the publisher of my own book), there was no one but me to keep me accountable to my deadline. So I started telling people I was writing a book—in blogs, Facebook posts, Tweets, and even on YouTube.
I know from that experience that accountability kept me on track. When my clients are particularly struggling just to write, I set up “writing gym” with them, where they have to e-mail me that they’ve shown up for their writing session and then e=mail me again when they’re done. Having someone—even just one person—receive notice that you’ve shown up to do what you said you were going to do is huge. As an apparently bad procrastinator whose book project is starting to feel more like a burden than a desire, I’m enrolling a writing gym partner this week. Next Friday (and every Friday thereafter) is already set aside as a writing day. Now I have to just allow it to be that without cluttering it with other obligations.
I know I'm not alone in needing to connect with what inspires me, but I do sometimes feel a little sheepish about how much accountability it turns out I need. I’ve always been good at follow-through. I’m the type of person that does what she sets out to do. But it turns out writing a book is one of the hardest things you’ll ever do—and if you’ve written one or many then you know. I remind myself of everything I tell my clients: It’s not a sprint, it’s a marathon; set aside time in your calendar; allow for crappy first drafts; just write. And it’s humbling to remember how hard it still is. The logic of what we know is not what gets us through writing a book; it’s done through emotional support and the bodily experience of coming to the page for each writing session. So I’m forgiving myself for these five weeks of not writing and hitting the reset button. Because we also need to give ourselves a little grace.
So tell me, what motivates you? What keeps you on track? What are some of your success stories? And do any of you need as much accountability as I do?
If it's important, I do it first thing in the morning before I can be distracted by anything else. I'm retired now, but when I worked, I got up an hour early to write. That way, even if I only wrote an hour a day, I wrote every day. Now I do yoga, feed my cat, eat a quick breakfast and write. Everything else comes after.
By the way.. my blog is
DancingWithStory
I need accountability for sure! My biggest inspiration has been going to a particular workshop/retreat. Women Reading Aloud (.org). It has been a safe haven and a truly inspiration and since I am at a retreat accountability is ..well, I am expected to read my writing soon after it is written. :). I realized that I needed accountabilily- when it finally dawned on me that I have been talking about writing for decades and I haven't much written except at this workshop. I have recently started a blog to help me have a 'place' or a stage for my writing. And I have decided that to interact with my inner critic directly so that she is invited to my writing party as well. In that way, I can see her as the party pooper and kind of ignore her :) - just like I would an annoying guest. Thanks for this question! It resonated with me..and my recent posts!
One more thing. One of the biggest issues plaguing me is attention deficit. So many things bombarding me on social media, websites and other inputs of information. I struggle with maintaining focus. Just read this interesting blog post that confirmed my belief I need to get back to meditation and work on cognitive training.
http:/ / well.blogs.nytimes.com/ 2014/ 05/ 12/ exercising-the-mind-to-treat-attention-deficits/ ?_php=true&_type=blogs&emc=edit_hh_20140513&nl=health&nlid=58330995&_r=0
Good post, Brooke, thank you.
Yes, I require accountability. For me, it's about showing up at the same time every day. If I take even two days off, the muse wanders away. When I parsed at my life, I discovered that I was going to bed at 10 pm, and then lying awake for two hours. Every night. So instead, I hot tub at 9:45, say good night to my husband, and go to my computer from 10 to midnight. No phones ringing, the household is asleep, even our dog. I'm lucky, that as a realtor, my schedule is flexible.I can get up at 7:45 in the morning. If need be, I can nap in the middle of some days.
I've been keeping this schedule for two months now. About ten days ago, the muse moved closer, and instead of stalking off to bed with only 200 painful words written, there have been nights with 800 words--where for a bit, there was a sense of flow. For the first time in ten years, I'm working on fiction instead of memoir. This is a much more challenging task.I have to invent what happens. With the memoir, I knew the story and wanted to share it in an honest, compelling way that included my weaknesses and failings, so it was a matter of framing and shaping, honing and rewriting. And rewriting. And rewriting.
Anyone want to join me from 10 to midnight? I'd love some virtual company.
Brooke, I was my own cheerleader so to speak. I set my alarm for 5:30 am every weekday. I knew that if I didn't pump myself up every morning, no one else would. Whenever I'd turn to go back to sleep after switching the alarm off, I would have a conversation with myself, "Get up and write. No one is going to do it for you. You have no one to answer to, but yourself." I also gave myself 500 words a day and 10,000 words a month. If in any given month, I reached 10,000 words, I'd take the rest of the month off-- a motivational too that a friend taught me.
Incidentally, this is my first book. I've been freelancing (what I call "entrepreneurial writing") for over two years with a good degree of success, particularly since it is helping to create a buzz about the book.
I'm working on a book about the women of the winemaking families of Piemonte, Italy (Langhe and Roero, specifically). As I write this, I am actually in Piemonte on my last fact-finding trip. As an attorney (reformed one, that is), I am a professional procrastinator. What I find that gets me off track the most is I get a little overwhelmed and then back off.
I read sometime ago that it's good to have someone, other than a spouse, to meet with and be accountable to. I have an "accountability coach." I meet with her once a month to review goals and discuss why I have (or haven't) achieved them and what can be done to get me motivated. It helps a great deal, but sometimes I find meeting with her to be a scheduling challenge.
Thanks for all the helpful info.
Yep, that's me, too! Master Procrastinator. Tricks I've tried that (sometimes) work:
1. Sign up to read at my writers group. Even though it's 2 weeks away, I usually don't start that new chapter until the last minute. With a deadline looming, I get my best writing done during the last 48 hours.
2. Take my chapter out to dinner. With nothing else to read and no one else to talk to, I'm forced to write and edit.
3. (and this one worked remarkably well to get me out of a deep slump) After I bush my teeth in the morning, write for 2 MINUTES immediately! Key is to connect the new habit to something I automatically do and would never, ever skip (like brushing my teeth) so the new habit becomes automatic.
Why 2 minutes? The world isn't going to stop if I'm 120 seconds late.
What got accomplished in only 2 minutes? Edited a bothersome paragraph, drafted some dialog, clarified the structure. What also happened: I was shocked at the end of the week how much I'd moved my chapter along! And my chapter stayed on my mind all day, giving me a chance to "write" while I was driving, daydreaming in the Starbucks line or walking the dog. Plus, it got butt-in-chair daily and often I felt motivated to write longer.
Forgot how well that worked! I'm off to do 2 min NOW! (...Well, after I answer a few more emails, do the dishes, unload the groceries... )
Kelly Hayes-Raitt
Great article. I too find my time getting sucked away to tasks that aren't writing-focused. I'm just about done marketing my new mystery/thriller. I've decided that I will spend one day a week on marketing and four days writing. Having big chunks time for each task enables me to get more done.
I am a tremendously skillful procrastinator. I once found myself cleaning the grout on the tile in my bathroom when I should have been writing. So I am not sure I can be helpful. But I once heard someone say about running that you could tell yourself, "I do not have to run if I don't want to, but I have to put on my running clothes." Then usually when you have gone that far you have initiated the "launch sequence" and you run. So for writing, I now get up very early and write until 7:30. It is quiet and not really a good time for grout cleaning. I have my coffee, everything is set up and I give myself permission to stop after those 2 hours. Sometimes, I return later and sometimes I don't. The other thing I have found helpful for my procrastination is to have small steps: today, just an outline of one essay, or a thorough clean-up of another. I put the actual task (not the oh so vague: WRITE) in my calendar so I don't have to wonder what it is I am supposed to do. Finally, a great book on will power: The Willpower Instinct, Kelly McGonigal filled with brain science on why we don't do what we know we want. I am only on Chapter 2 as it is taking more willpower to read it than I have right now.
Great article. I dont know how anyone else writes, but I dont write every day. I know a good night's sleep helps and I am more inclined in the early morning. Sometimes, if I cant go to sleep, I pick a subject for a chapter and tell myself the story before the Sandman gets to me. Then I continue in the morning. It seems I do not write in sequence, (does anyone?). I think of a character moving forward in a chapter and sometimes that chapter is ahead of behind where I am in the book. As the old saying goes, 'it will all even out.'
Thanks, Roberta. I don't want to be motivated by guilt, but maybe I am too!! Good luck with your network tonight. Have fun.
Great post! "It's not a sprint, it's a marathon..." Yes, get support and hit the reset button. You're an inspiration and I too think you "should" write your book. :)
I heard you at the San Miguel conference in February, Brooke. Your words were so helpful and I am following much of your good advice. I started a blog in April with the promise to myself and my readers that I would write 40 posts without skipping a day. I made it and I am still going strong. (isobelmtll.wordpress.com) I think the promise I made to others to offer them something everyday kept me going. Another motivator for me is going to the library. When I see all those hundreds of books on the shelves, I think , "They did it. So can you." In fact I should be doing the hour on my novel I promised myself so . . . . bye bye. Isobel
I have found that sometimes if I'm procrastinating on a writing project, it's because I'm not quite ready yet for whatever reason. So I'm not hard on myself when I find myself stalling. I'm usually pretty self-motivated.
Brooke, I love this post and will use some of the ideas with my writers' network tonight. We talk, talk, talk about writing and find every reason not to write. I'm having the group set long and short term writing goals that they will report on at our next meeting. Accountability! Personally, I need to post on my blog every week. Guilt usually motivates me. When my cousin calls and says, I keep checking your blog but there's nothing new - ouch!
I love the idea of connecting with the reason you are writing and why it is important.
Thanks for this. It's motivated me to plan my agenda!