Last summer while visiting my mom, we took a drive out to the country to stroll a farmer’s market. I drove her car and at one of the intersections she suddenly piped up, “Be careful here. It’s easy to get ham-boned.”
I looked at her a bit confused. “Do you mean t-boned?”
She started laughing. “Yes, t-boned.”
“Or some kind of cut of meat,” I bantered. Then it became a joke. At the next intersection I asked, “Should I be careful here, too? I don’t want to get sirloined.”
Knock
The loosely made point here is, last year—as I've noted here before—my writer's identity got ham-boned. After completing that pesky manuscript for my debut novel, I realized I didn't really want to write fiction. Bam! Sirloined!
But, fortunately, my love of writing and determination didn't take the hit, just the type of writing I had been pursuing. I needed to pick up the pieces and find a new direction. With renewed conviction, I decided to make this year, the Year Of Yes.
A popular theory currently touted proclaims if you open yourself to the universe, putting your desires and requests out there, it will respond by opening the doors. I don’t know about that. My beliefs tend to run more towards a source of faith, but the point is well-taken: if we’re not open and looking for opportunities, we won’t see them.
So during my Year Of Yes, I have determined if an opportunity presents itself to me, I will not hesitate in fear or cave to insecurity. I will just say yes. I am taking this even a step further: if a writing idea occurs to me, I will seek a way to get it published. This is a bit riskier; it means actually knocking on a few doors, not just being content to open the ones that present themselves to me.
And It Shall Be Opened To You
Here’s what’s happened since I adopted this new attitude:
- I am writing an article for a website I feel totally unqualified for. I had an idea and the site put out a call. I responded. They…gulp…accepted. Despite my insecurity, I'm pulling the piece together.
- I am now a monthly contributor of a nonfiction column to a fiction writer’s website. (Anyone else note the irony here?) because I audaciously knocked and just asked, “Hey, can I write for this blog?”
- A published author and acquaintance, with about four times the followers than I have, put out a call for guest-contributors. Who was I to think I could write on her site? But in my new-found spirit of saying yes, I wrote her an inquiry email and...she accepted!
- Recently, another writer-site put out a call for contributors for a special-topic on their blog. Did I let my lack of expertise keep me from responding to the call? Not in the Year of Yes! I'm slated for a spot in April.
Smacked by Opportunity
It seems obvious, I know. But it’s such a freeing, exhilarating and scary feeling to start seizing opportunities. It means risking rejection (inevitable), stepping outside what is comfortable and known, and pushing the boundaries and knowledge a bit. It also means growing and embracing new experiences and perhaps, yes, even new successes.
Ultimately,here’s what I figure: if I’m going to be at an intersection in life, and I am at risk of getting t-boned, I might as well be on a possible collision course with opportunities and success.
What writing risks have you taken? How do you go about opening doors for opportunity? What doors have you looked at, gulped, and raised a shaky knuckle to? Will this be your Year of Yes?
Hi Bonnie-- I do not receive a stipend from SheWrites. I do, however, have a few paid prospects with other websites and also with traditional print magazines. It's not easy to make a living, for sure.
A question for you--do you require some sort of stipend to participate online? I was a freelancer for years, but with the death of so many print publications, I can't figure out how to make any money. I'm concentrating on fiction now, but that doesn't seem to pay very often. Bonnie McCune, BonnieMcCune.com
Carla-- Keep me posted on how this works out for you! Excited to see what may open up for you.
Wow. I really like this idea. "Yes" is a word that I have embraced mentally, however this post helps me to see that I need to embrace it completely. I think I am going ot adopt your quote for myself this is my "Year of Yes".
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Hi Jennifer-- so far, it's helped me look beyond the fear of trying new writing avenues and actually get more and different kinds of writing experience. Thanks.
Thanks for your input. This is how we learn what we have to learn when we most need to learn it. There are no coincidences. And good luck with your writing career as well. As long as you are happy doing what you do, that's all that matters. Kathryn
RYCJ--I believe "pork chopped" also came into the conversation. ;) She's almost 80; we'll forgive the meat mix-up.
Kathryn--I'm glad you found Kill Zone helpful. Even though I don't write mystery, their advice and collective knowledge is extensive. Absolutely all the best to you with your book!
Thanks Julie!
I went to Kill Zone and now I have another Blog on my Favorites. BTW, I'm having a FREE giveaway right now on Amazon Kindle until Feb. 24 for my new vampire book Human No Longer. I'm trying the Giveaways. Wish me luck! Kathryn Meyer Griffith
Oh, how funny, and too, point well taken. I don't think there will ever be a day when I hear t-bone, sirloin, ham-bone, and or how about any piece of meat with a bone in it and not think of this post. Timely and marvelous. Thanks for this.
S. Romos-- and an excellent confirmation of what saying yes can do for our writing careers. I'll look forward to seeing the fruit of all your responses.
I've been saying yes for the last decade and I'm saying yes to you, Julie. 10 years ago I decided to sell my business and focus on writing. I said yes to sending out short stories, and some were published, as well as my novel, The Sandoval Sisters. Now, I have to focus my writing in a different way. Instead of lurking on She Writes, I'm responding and saying yes! Excellent article. Thank you.
Kathryn-- Congratulations on your books. I think, fortunately, that stigma is changing. I just read a great article on The Kill Zone about self-publishing and hitting it big (http:/
Julie,
nice post. I, too, started saying yes a few years ago. Yes to trying new things, new approaches...and, finally, yes to eBooks. The self-published route always had a stigma to it (I'm from the early times of legacy Publishers) and I always believed to self-publish would be like self-destructing my long career. I did it anyway and now my 16th ( self-published) novel is out-selling all the 15 with my publishers each month. I'm floored. But so glad I said yes. Kathryn Meyer Griffith
On twitter I'm @WriterBGF. I'll look you up as well.
Betsy, I tried to find your Twitter name/account and even went to your blog but couldn't find your "handle". (I'm obviously still stuck in the days of CBs). Let me know or join me @julieluek and I'll jump on board and follow you!
I never thought I'd use "friend" as a verb either.
Hi Betsy-- Hey, Thanks for the tweet. (You know two short years ago, I would have never, ever thought I'd use Tweet as a noun.) It is indeed a growing process and sometimes I yowl at the pain. But as someone else said, I'd hate to look back at what-ifs.
Great post, Julie. I tweeted it to my MASSIVE Twitter following of about 15. grins and "liked" it as well. Kidding aside, this writing process is really about knowing yourself and knowing your voice on so many levels. Facing self-doubt. Overcoming fears. Understanding ourselves. A real grown process.
Inspiring. Thanks
Alexandra-- There is sometimes a cliquish kind of feeling, isn't there? I love making friends outside my usual genre and outside the usual blog circles. I think that's one of the reasons I've so enjoyed She Writes. It brings together writers from all over the world and all over the blog world. You are a great example of a friend I've made since being here. And yes, you and me both-- I'd much rather crash than cower. Let me know if you need a crash buddy!
Julie, as usual, you write such inspirational posts. I think I will try to make this year the year of yes or maybe the interlude into the year of yes. You have put yourself out there. It is kind of like starting high school. The genres and social media sites are like cliques and you are not quite certain where you fit in. I think I prefer to crash into success than fear of failure.
Olga-- well now, you're a great example of knocking, right? I am looking forward to hosting you on my blog and wouldn't have known about your book if you hadn't put out a request. Now THAT takes courage. Keep knocking and writing. A book--wow-- talk about seizing an opportunity.
Julie, another great post. Thanks for the inspiration. Knocking on doors - yes! It takes so much courage, at least for me, but I guess for everyone. Standing there, in front of a closed door - even if it's a metaphor, it feels real - and holding your breath: will they want me? Am I good enough?
I should follow your example and knock on more doors. With my first novel finally out, I don't have any other choice, do I?
Tina- That would make a really interesting blog post. I think there's a lot to be said for that face-to-face, personalized interaction. I hope it brings you lots of success. It takes courage to face readers and people you don't know and promote your book. Kudos and best wishes to you.
Melissa-- I look forward to the article you are going to write for my blog! Yay! Don't be impressed by me yet. I just say yes and then wonder what the heck I've gotten myself into most of the time. But like you, I don't want to have quit my job to write then cower in fear.
Carol-- I really loved how you said you "missed the gnawing concern of a possible 'no thanks'. I would have never thought of it like that but now that you brought it to my attention, you're exactly right. As much as we hate the rejection, that sense of anticipation and oh-- the acceptances-- it's like a drug sometimes. Keep me posted on what you pursue and please know I'm cheering you on as well.
Laura--Oh we are soul sisters. I totally hear that fear. Hear it every time I post in this blog. I always think, "this time no one is going to read or comment..." But I do it. I face that fear. Good for us!
Jagoda-- Thanks. Here's hoping that metaphor pays off for us all.
Julie, I'm really happy for as well as inspired by you. You're actually putting yourself out there which, for us writers, can be intimidating. I should know because I get nervous just posting on my own blog.
This year I've decided that I would venture a little further into the water by working on and submitting some of my shorter pieces while giving my MS a breakl. That's big for me because I haven't really tried to submit anything before for fear of rejection. Ultimately who wants to settle on a life of what-ifs and should-ofs so I'm throwing caution to the wind.
So, press on, lady. You're giving people like me hope. ;)