Outlining
One of the primary struggles new memoirists face is the question of what to sacrifice in the telling of their memoir, or what to focus on. When a person decides to write a memoir, it’s inevitable that the experience of what they want to write about seems too big, too sprawling, and so the question of how to structure and organize their memoir begins to formulate. And then, promptly, overwhelm sets in.
This is your life we’re talking about. It can hardly be captured within 80,000 words. And yet, herein lies a key point of understanding. Your memoir is not your life. It cannot and never will tell the whole story. And so you must shift your perception of how you’re writing.
When you set out to write memoir, you must choose one issue. This doesn’t mean that your memoir will only touch upon one issue, but it does mean that the one single issue you choose will orient you and your writing. It will serve as a guide and it is something you will never lose sight of. My favorite metaphor for understanding how to do this kind of writing is to imagine that you have to put on a pair of glasses every time you sit down to write your memoir. It’s a pair of glasses tinted with your primary subject or issue, meaning that you can see the entirety of your experience, but always through the lens of whatever primary issue you choose to be at the center of your memoir.
Memoirists who can come to understand how indispensible these glasses are write memoirs that are both moving and saleable. From a publisher’s perspective, being able to hitch your memoir to a single issue is key to its viability in the marketplace. From a reader’s perspective, the single issue at the heart of your memoir is the primary issue they are hoping you will unpack. They’ve picked up your book because they want to understand more about your experience of a particular issue—not the experience of your entire life with all its nuances.
I was recently approached by a memoirist who wanted to work with me whose first thirty pages lacked focus. The book could have been a motherhood memoir; a divorce memoir; or a recovery memoir. I saw these distinct threads and pointed them out to her. She felt they were equally important, and therefore had never sat back to discern what pair of glasses she was wearing when she sat down to write. It could have been a motherhood memoir, in which case her divorce and her addiction and subsequent recovery would have been seen through the lens of motherhood; or it could have been a recovery memoir, in which case her divorce and her experience of mothering would have been seen through the lens of addiction and recovery. These would be two very distinct books, of course.
I’ve written quite a lot on my own blog about how mainstream publishers lack imagination. But they also lack the capacity to see your memoir as nuanced. And really, they shouldn’t have to. Single-issue books are easy to pitch. They are easy to position. Publishers want books whose through-lines and themes are self-evident. Acquisitions editors train their attention on an issue and want to see how it’s carried through. They are looking for books that have tight hooks, and that ultimately are carried by a single issue, not multiple issues.
This is a primary point that memoirists need to understand. As I always tell my clients, this doesn’t mean that you can’t tackle multiple issues. It simply means that you have to choose a primary issue and stick with it. Any other issue you bring into your memoir is tinted with the primary issue. If you are writing an eating disorder memoir, for instance, and you also want to highlight a string of well-meaning relationships that you abandoned, you cannot talk about those relationships in a bubble, separate from the experience of the eating disorder. Or, to give actual examples of published memoirs—consider The Year of Magical Thinking. This is a book about the games our psyche plays on us after someone we love passes, and it’s so tight that every single scene seems to take into consideration her premise. In Wild, Cheryl Strayed writes about sex addiction and her relationship with her mother quite a bit, but we never lose sight of the fact that the memoir is a contained journey of transformation, about how her time on the Pacific Crest Trail changed her. In Autobiography of a Face, Lucy Grealy’s specificity about her primary issue—the disfigurement of her face—is never lost, although she takes us through childhood, college, partying, friendships, and so much more.
If you have a multiple-issue memoir, stop and ask yourself which of the issues you’re writing about can take a back seat. It doesn’t mean that one is any less important, or less valuable, than another. It’s simply that one single issue has to be the star. This is the definition of good memoir, and understanding your primary issue will help you lock in your focus, your themes, your overarching message, and ultimately how you position to sell your book and build a platform for yourself around the issue that’s at the center of your memoir.
@Carol. Thanks so much. And my post this weekend will be more about how to take advantage of this Kindle stuff if you're a traditionally published author. We just made the webinar available here: http:/
Yesterday I finished reading Lucy Grealy's book Autobiography of a Face. It was a wonderful example for me–– a reminder to keep in the back of my mind as I write and edit my memoir. Her poetry background was also reflected in so many ways, like a good meal that you can't get enough of. It left me wanting more.
When every minute counts: I couldn't find a comments page on She Writes for the Webinar you facilitated yesterday, but I wanted to tell you how helpful it was. I almost missed it, because exactly at 9:59 my computer went black when I was plugging in my cell phone to the surge protecter. It was sudden. I couldn't figure out why. Frantically, I checked my connections. Nothing. In a panic I ran downstairs, grabbed my laptop, ran upstairs, plugged it in, logged in, and got in just in time for the introduction. Thank goodness you'd waited an extra minute for the late comers. I even had a chance to make a cup of calming tea. Now I'd like to know, when will we be able to get copies of his talk? Thanks.
Excellent advice, thanks!
This is so central to the issue I am having with my memoir and why I feel so overwhelmed. Thank you Rachel for putting into focus the struggle I'm having and how I might go about overcoming it.
Thanks for the poignant advice, relatable metaphor and helpful examples!
This post is very helpful and timely. I am writing a memoir focused on my experience following my younger sister's unexpected death, but it is constantly diluted my experiences of motherhood, work, etc. I need to to revisit the theme of my writing to make sure it reflects what it is I am trying to say.
@Kathleen. You're welcome. So happy to hear the metaphor will offer some concrete and tangible help. Happy writing!
Dear Brooke, This is excellent advice on defining themes and honing in on a story's purpose and meaning. The idea of wearing tinted glasses is a tangible reminder to stay focused and a simple way to cut through that inevitable feeling of overwhelm that anyone tackling a memoir initially experiences(speaking for myself)Thank you!
I'll definitely check this out. Thanks, Jessica!
I found myself nodding in agreement throughout your post. Thanks for this reminder of how to keep a tight focus with our writing! I took a college class years ago, when I was young and didn't even have enough material for a memoir, about "Writing Your Life". The textbook was great and I highly recommend it for helping to accomplish exactly what you describe. Its new edition is called Writing from Deeper Within by Bernard Selling.
Exactly what I have wanted to read for a while - thanks so much!
Excellent point, Brooke. I've never heard it phrased this way, but it will help me make sense of my memoir if I get back to it. I've put it on a back burner while I revise a YA I wrote years ago.
What a wonderful way to 'filter' and tighten a life experience. Sometimes it is hard to talk about relationships outside the bubble... Can't wait to open the journal and lock in my focus -- well put!
Thank you, Brooke. I know I have a powerful message to share and yet, I'm struggling with how best to sum up my book in a book proposal! I know my words will flow at some point...it's just getting over the constipation that can be painful. I'm thankful for discussions like this one when I am reminded that I'm not alone in my struggle and there's always encouragement and support from the masses. Write on!
Thanks, @Mardi, for the feedback. I'm glad you like the image. Good luck in landing an agent, @Linda! It's an exciting process---although sometimes tedious after so many months of hard work getting your work polished and ready to go.
Thank you, this is true. In editing my memoir, I'm cutting scenes that don't advance the main theme. Have a blessed day.
My editor taught me the same lesson. I started writing my memoir in January 2012 and it wasn't until May when we discovered my theme - the one thing my memoir is about. After I finished the first draft, we were able to organize all of my writing around that one thing and seven other sub-things (or series, as he calls them). Following his methodology was the best action I have ever taken in my short writing life. I'm on draft three while working on mini-book proposal with high hopes of finding an agent by mid-year. :-)
This is not only fantastic advice, but the image of putting on the glasses with a "tint" you choose is really helpful. And frankly, I wish I had read this post before I wrote my own memoir! Focusing on a single issue isn't skirting the truth, as I believed when I first set out to write my story, its telling the whole truth of one strong part of your life. I spent a year revising, with the help of my editor, to address what she called my "tangental tendencies." That revising, and her advice on it, made for a much stronger manuscript simply because it was more focused. Focus means power and power means a book people want to read. Thanks Brooke for this great lesson.
Thanks for your sharing everyone. Love it. :)
Great post and that is very encouraging to those just starting out and yes for those of us who are well underway!
I have found a central focus for my memoir. Out of the Fishbowl ~ Into the Ocean. I began to understand my social awkwardness in my adult years after looking into how I was wired and how that played a part in my social interactions. As I unraveled the threads of my past, I began to forgive and heal.
Great post! I tell folks in my writing workshops that "good writing is in the details; great writing is in the details left out."
I'm writing a journalistic memoir about my recovery from a mid-life loss by working in the Middle East with Iraqi and Palestinian refugees. I have a tough challenge keeping the "thread" of my story woven with others whose lives have ben so decimated. This post is exactly what I needed to read today!
Kelly Hayes-Raitt
www.LivingLargeInLimbo.com
I am in the throws of writing my memoir, this article is encouraging confirmation since I am focusing on one point in my life which was life changing. I hope my words and journey will encourage other women.
This is a great site.
Thank you,
Lesly
Very helpful, thank you for this post.