I turned 59 today, and I have to say that, so far at least, this is a great age. I like the ages with 9 at the end of them--and have for a while, at least since I turned 29. These ages always remind me that I have one more year of being a certain decade, so I'm not really as old as I feared--at least not yet. This is especially true for me, since I tend always to forget how old I am. I've tried to blame this tendency on the fact that if you have a birthday in December, it's hard to remember your accurate age at any point during the year--you're always jumping forward in your mind to the next year or slouching back--but I really think it's just because I've never--not since I first became an adult--been very good at feeling my age.
Age is something I associate with other people--not with myself. I don't know why this is true, but it hasn't changed in any significant way over the course of my life. I think in my mind I will always be about 35, the age where I first began to realize I was a grown-up. That must be why when I hear something like a song from the Bee Gees or the Beatles or Sly and the Family Stone, one of those songs that transports me instantly back to the year when I first heard it (such as "I Wanna Hold Your Hand" or "I've Just Gotta Get a Message to You" or "Everyday People")-- it is not entirely inconceivable that I might feel like dancing in public without thinking first how ridiculous that could seem to those around me, especially my children.
In many ways, 59 feels like a reprieve. I don't have to adjust to the reality of turning 60, not just yet, since, for one more year, I'm still in my fifties. As I said, the 9's make me feel young. And being 59 has its perks. After all, if I weren't 59 right now--but instead 25 or even 35--I would not have gotten to see the Beatles perform live in Baltimore on their first American tour. I would not remember the first moon walk. And I don't think I would derive as much pleasure as I do from things like cell phones and text messaging--and even emails!
And, come to think of it, I don't really think I'll mind turning sixty. I feel sixty already in lots of ways: my elbow aches from "tennis elbow;" my left knee is arthritic; I have a head full of grey hair; I can't remember a damn thing. Hell, I might as well be sixty years old!
On the other hand, it's ridiculously hard to believe that I could possibly ever turn 60. After all, I'm the baby in my family. My 3 sisters may turn 60, but not moi! Surely not! So, I won't think about it, at least not now. Maybe I'll think about it tomorrow--at Tara!
All these thoughts are here--or on the horizon. But for now, say for the next 11 months, I'm going to enjoy being 59, without giving it a whole lot of thought, except maybe to ponder with my friends whether we will have to, at some point, rename our site "Oops60!"
I used to think, when I was younger (because that was all I knew - hadn't yet experienced all the "joy?" of aging) that some people were born young and they were lucky and then some were born old and I was just glad i was younger. Now I'm older and I fear I am not dealing with it as well as you are, maybe because there were things i wanted to do in life that haven't been and may not ever be. Plus a certain amount of trepidation / issues with end-of-life, religious beliefs, etc. At the age of 63 I still can't seem to erase the old tapes and make up my own mind about religion. anyway - i do anticipate when I am turning 70 that i will have a major "thing" about it. Again, I think a lot of that has to do with fear of dying and what lies beyond. But I dare not think about it too much as NO ONE KNOWS and all I would do is get confused and upset. I have finally accepted how I feel about things and to express same even if it is politically incorrect or otherwise, at this age no matter my financial state, I do believe I have the right to have opinions and beliefs. Congrats on doing it a better way than me. I do have a mixed up self-image, I don't think I look like people I knew my age "back then" who were mostly fat wearing outdated clothes. On most days I'm not unhappy with how I appear, bad days I'm like WTheck happened to you (the lady in the mirror). oh well - anyway good for you at keeping a good attitude.
Thanks for all the great comments! I would have answered sooner, but I couldn't remember how to! Jane
Happy birthday! I am fifty something still :) and can't remember a thing either.
I always think of myself as in my late twenties. My mind still holds on to 27. After I entered my 30s when the new year comes around right at midnight, I already consider myself the next age. I don't wait for my birthday. So next Tuesday, I will be 40...lol. I enjoyed your blog.
To see the Beatles live! Lucky you. Great post on the positives of aging gracefully.