Today, September 1, is my official pub date. It will also be the final installment of my turn as She Writes' Countdown to Publication columnist. You’ll be reading this on that day, but that “today” is not mine. I’m still, as I write, waiting, and waiting is rarely an enjoyable activity.
Here’s what I mean, expressed economically in a few lines from Elizabeth Bishop’s disturbing, possibly autobiographical poem, “In the Waiting Room,” where a little girl sits and worries about her place in the world: “The waiting room was bright/and too hot. It was sliding/beneath a big black wave,/another, and another.” Elizabeth Bishop: The Collected Poems, 1927-1979.
What if after all this scrambling for attention, slavishly practicing the drills of social media, my memoir simply disappears from sight, slipped under the waves of oblivion, in the great dark sea of book publishing?
As I was quoting Elizabeth Bishop, the city in which I live, New York, was waiting for Hurricane Irene. Having just survived an earthquake that never quite happened in Manhattan—though the building where I work was evacuated—I had the sense, that I’ve had many times, that what’s worst in life, as in weather, is the anticipation, the dread of what might happen, but almost never does as one imagines. Hence, rightly, the dread. And as it turned out, nothing was as bad—or mostly—as had been predicted. The lights did not go out. I did not get to reread Mrs. Dalloway, by candlelight, as planned. You just can’t know. But I do know enough to know that nothing magical is going to happen for me on September 1. If I’m lucky, and something exciting happens with the book, it will be over time, in tiny increments. And so, I’ll still be waiting!
But paradoxically, life as it’s now lived online, in many ways changes the waiting, including the waiting that comes after publication, as the book’s afterlife unfolds. It’s true that much as one might want to, one can’t rewrite one’s book, but with a website, at least as my designer Claire Fontaine has conceived it, I can recreate the project that inspired me to write it. In its online incarnation, I can find new ways to try to keep one of my main ideas alive: that of encouraging others to pursue quests of their own. So between now and countdown (and after) I’ve decide to add links of information as well as tips for doing family history research. Maybe this will be a way to feel less like groveling before the social media whip, and more like adding to a network of writers with projects like mine, though in earlier stages. And finally, in another, less much awful kind of waiting, I can start looking forward to my book launch party in a few weeks, to be hosted by two young friends of mine. And like Clarissa Dalloway, I’ll be buying the flowers myself.
For now, thanks again to those of you who sent in comments to previous installments. Let’s stay in touch.
My book release date is Sept 15th and I'm having one of those fearful-of-the-future type days. I really needed to read this today. Thanks so much Nancy.
Thank you, Helen. I long to exit from reception/anxiety mode--and am trying to concentrate on kind words from friends...
It's definitely a mug's game to be so hooked to the marketplace--when the writing--originally, at least--was never about that...
It's so hard to hold on to the love of writing...
Nancy, your book will touch people. Try not to worry if it's noticed "enough." It's hard, but remember that reading is a solitary activity, and the memoir will find its way into individual hearts.
And enjoy the launch party!!
Yes, at every stage--there is the waiting. Four months does not seem a lot.
I admire your ability to work on something else--everyone recommends that as a remedy, but it's hard to do!!
Are the stages of waiting like the stages of grief? I'm in the middle of querying agents and I have one agent reading my book. Or she intends to. She asked for the full over two months ago and I hear agents routinely take up to four months to get back to you. I'm pretending I'm not waiting at all by working on my second book. Good luck with your book!
No matter what happens, September 1 will always hold a bit of magic for you. Your comments about waiting and "tiny increments" is so true and a lesson learned by all authors. I'm looking forward to reading your book and also to seeing what you have to say on your blog. Best of luck!
Thanks for the warning about Amazon Author Central. Yet another potential source of self-torture and self-sabotage...
I gather I'm bestselling for books about Moldova. Which means there are no other books on Moldova currently....I'd put a smiley face here, if I could!!!
My book is called: What They Saved: Pieces of a Jewish Past.
Oh, do I know the feeling. My book, a memoir, was published by Crown on August 9th. I'll tell you where I am right now, and it is crazy-making. Word of warning to all writers: Amazon Author Central is addictive and punishing. It updates you--every two hours-- on your book's standings in Amazon bestsellers, both in hardcover and kindle. It was funny when the ranking was one million seven hundred ninety seventh---impossible to pronounce that last th without giggling. But those rankings were calculated before my book was even published. Who knows what the numbers are based on, or their accuracy? But now, three weeks into being a published author, I check my Author Central sales information like I'm a day trader! Someone suggested to me (okay, I suggested to myself) that I only check it once a week. LOL. Once a day. Ha ha. Once every two hours....you get the picture. Maybe it's like a chemical addiction and the only thing to do is stop. LOL. Let's see. Current ranking:"fathermothergod: My Journey..." is currently ranked #7,598 out of over 750,000 books in the Kindle Store. And in hardcover? #21,136 out of over 8,000,000 books. Down, from two hours ago, in both formats.
As someone who's been dragged kicking and screaming to social media (and still kicking and screaming and not doing what I should), what caught my eye in your piece was this: "What if after all this scrambling for attention, slavishly practicing the drills of social media, my memoir simply disappears from sight, slipped under the waves of oblivion, in the great dark sea of book publishing?" Aah, there's the rub. But here's the deal: it is done and out there. Hurray! Time to celebrate. By the way, what's the name of your book, Nancy?
Nancy, if you are looking for people who have projects like yours in the works, here I am!
I'm in the midst of writing and researching a book about my father, spurred by the rediscovery of a cache of documents.
What now?
Congratulations, Nancy! I really like the idea of continuing the project and building a network. I'm engaged in an earlier stage of waiting than you are, but I think your idea of going on can be adapted to many stages of this process. I'm certain the memoir won't disappear in those dark waters! Flowers to you.
Thanks so much for your insights here. It does make one feel less alone on this dark and winding path of publication. No matter how many things you read about mythical concepts like a pub date, you never really know what it's like until it's yours... and then, finally, you can empathize with columns like these, and recognize their brutal honesty. (Anne Lamott also has a hilarious take on pub dates in her book Bird by Bird.) The clouds do not part. The President does not call. You're lucky if a friend does. But hey, what the hell -- you wrote a book and got it published. Congratulations! And hugs.
Enjoy the launch party. May it be a fun and memorable addition to the satisfaction of working hard at work worth doing.
I know what you mean. I'm "only" the co-author of the memoir I've worked on for the past two years, Joanne King Herrinng's Diplomacy and Diamonds, but I'm anxious to see how it fares when it is published October 19. It has a been a long journey and I sure hope it won't slip "under the waves of oblivion, in the great dark sea of book publishing" as you so eloquently put it. I wish you great success!
Well, I suppose there are a few hours left in the day!!
Thanks for your good wishes. And see you again on She Writes....
Ahh come on, magic could happen today. I get what you are saying but the posibility of magic is always, always there! Congrats on your book. You should be really proud.