WHAT GOD MADE ME (for 7 - 11 age group)
Contributor
Written by
Elizabeth Young
January 2011
Contributor
Written by
Elizabeth Young
January 2011

If I was a sparrow,

I'd fly into a tree,

And though a creature very small,

The world my home would be.

 

If I were an eagle,

I'd soar a mountain top.

My vision soon would spot its' prey,

And swoop in eager flight.

 

If I were a seagull,

I'd breath the ocean air.

Grab sandwiche crusts and other scraps

Of which I would not share.

 

If I was a lark,

The sweetest song I'd sing,

For when the world was still and dark,

A morning hymn I'd bring.

 

If I was a robin,

I'd peck through frozen ground.

Bring joy to every English man

Each Christmas morning found.

 

If I was a cuckoo,

I'd take what was not mine.

But couldn't be a happy bird

So shabbily to feign.

 

But I am not a sparrow,

An eagle or a lark.

A solitary seagull,

A robin or peacock.

 

I've never been a cuckoo,

For God made me a child.

But I can still imagine,

A bird's own special world.

Let's be friends

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Comments
  • Elizabeth Young

    That is JUST the kind of help I was looking for Lesley-Anne, thank you for taking the time to do this and for the great suggestions.

  • Lesley-Anne Evans

    I do like it, Elizabeth. I think it could make a lovely children's book… with illustrations being a big component. I would take a look at the word choices… making sure they would all be understood by a small child… 'feign' might not work. 'If I was', or 'If I were'… I'd choose one of these and repeat it each time. I can envision the last illustration being of a beautiful child, perhaps with a bird in it's outstretched hand… I think it will be a wonderful book, bedtime story. Hope that helps… :)

  • Elizabeth Young

    Thanks for sharing Cathy. I know that writers' styles of composing are very different!

  • Elizabeth Young

    Although I've already done some writing I am presently trying to get an outline of where I want to go with the book. I know I want some old picture, certificates, a map etc. included, but am wondering if I should go with Chapters or Parts 1 - 4. I'm also continuing my research.

  • Elizabeth Young

    I guess I need validation. I think a child would enjoy reading this in the form of a small storybook, a stanza per page. You're correct about the age thing also. Children grow up so fast today! Typically I don't stress about nouns and verbs, correct meter etc. When inspired I write and then edit several times so it just 'sounds' right. This has always worked for me. Basically I just want to know if you like it or if you think little ones would like it. Many thanks Lesley Anne.

  • Lesley-Anne Evans

    Hello, Elizabeth… thanks for asking for my input. What precisely are you looking for? If you give me some guidance, I could and would be honoured to critique for you. I do like the concept of a book for young children… perhaps slightly younger than this… I see it more 4-8 year olds… but again, please share your thoughts.