She Writes on Fridays Post - Foot Prints In Time
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First I want to say I haven't fixed a thing, it's first draft. Or First Thoughts! for She Writes on Fridays to hear your thoughts - but with the long weekend, I probably won't get back here until Tuesday! So have fun!
Foot Prints In Time
Oh to blurt out words
of yesterday and blend
them into spaces of your
life. . .
To recognize a place
you've been and gather up
laughter once forgotten,
and hear the sound of nature
when - alone - not knowing
who is near - or where
our minds bring us - to
things once remembered
and then - forgotten.
A picture takes us back
to a day when we lived
within the color of laughter -
Our steps are many - some
slow, or in haste - yet another
day
new foot prints bring joy
to our existence.
Nancy Duci Denofio
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Deborah - I love what you picked out from the poem the simple words "color of laughter" YES - and thank you!
Thanks to all of you who took the time to read and post about the poem I post last friday! Have a wonderful weekend, and SheWrites on Friday post, I think I may do another
Nancy D.
Sorry about the lines, there is nothing I can seem to do to erase them, but it only happens here!
i think the third stanza last line needs a little help too!
It's really about an older person remembering when laughter was clear, strong, and part of their life. Hoping for its' return. Thanks everyone.Deborah - The color of laughter - its like a vision of many hues, like a rainbow perhaps! I will certainly let you knw more this friday! Thanks again, and I do like the color of laughter, color is in my eyes bright and cherry when we speak about laughter... neat Nancy
Kelly Jo I will certainly take you up on your suggestions! And I appreciate it. Its late tonight, but tomorrow! Thanks again... Sincerely Nancy
Thanks Deborah - I find it interesting when people see the twists and turns in writing. And, this being a very rough draft I thank you for pointing this out - it shall stay but - where it is! Poetry is so different but still it isn't. Another twist. I use many pieces from memoir as poetry - and from other writing, it's the music in poetry and the questions we ask but do not answer. I hope this helps. Thanks again, Nancy
Nancy, I am not a poet (but rather a nonfiction writer) and I am a little rusty at poetry critique, but I'm eager to comment, so here goes. I'm so intrigued by this line:
A picture takes us back
to a day when we lived
within the color of laughter
"Color of laughter" is very provocative--and the idea of living within it. That really stood out for me here. Let us know specifically if there's anything you'd like feedback on so we can focus our thoughts. Thank you for sharing this, and thank you for taking the leap!!