Ask for help!
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This is a place where you can ask for feedback about something you're working on. I think it's important to get feedback from other writers (as readers) about our work. Maybe you're not sure about the flow of a dialogue between two characters, need advice about overall organization in a chapter, or are just stumped by some aspect of the process. Don't be shy! ASK for what you need! We all have strengths and weaknesses as writers and can definitely help each other become better at our craft!

  • Hi, I'm getting an early start with my Nadia wip by participating in BuNoWriMo. Although it took me forever I wrote in a new/opening scene for Chapter 5 and would like some feedback on it. I'm unsure whether I should italicize the beginning, anyways is the mood lacking? Does it feel surreal? Is there anywhere you felt drawn in? Out?

    Nadia, the Hidden Fire Witch; Chapter 5:

    The four of us were laughing. It echoed in tune with the clacks of the stone floor as we spun round and round. Obviously, we were much too old to play merry go round, but Nadia did not care. She was happy to be with her friends… What were their names again?


    Nadia looked at their faces closely. One looked like an adult version of a cherub angel with her blonde curls and burning blue eyes. The other two  were complete opposites of each other. A cool and rational raven hair. And a saucy redhead. Each head topped with bell shaped and ribboned hats that matched their floral dresses.


    “Angela,” someone called in a soft whisper.


    “Did you hear something,” asked Nadia, turning her head. But no one answered her. They were still laughing.


    “Angela,” the voice said again.


    Nadia broke out of the ring. The voice seemed to be coming from out of the ballroom. Nadia decided to follow it. Maybe someone was lost or hurt. And was calling for their friend.


    But as soon as she walked through the heavy wooden door it slammed shut behind her. And the hall erupted in flames.


    “Hey,” shouted Nadia, banging on the door. “Help!”


    She covered her nose and mouth. Yet it wasn’t enough to keep her chest from feeling as if it was searing apart with a thousand tiny flames. Nadia tried to find another exit back into the ballroom when she heard it again. This time behind her. Heart pounding in her ears, Nadia slowly turned around. There was no one. She breathed a sigh of relief.


    Then a body glided out of the smoke towards her. It had flaxen and stringy white hair. And more wrinkles than an old crone. The garden of flowers on her dress was just as withered with the hem trailing behind her like a morbid veil.


    Nadia opened her mouth to scream but nothing came out. It was stuck in her throat afraid to come out. Before she knew it, the withered women was upon her and screamed, “Angela!”

    “Kyaa,” screamed Nadia. She punched and kicked at the apparition as much as she can. And tumbled onto the floor. “Ouch,” mumbled Nadia as she rubbed her elbow.