Adriana and Audry

I so understand where you're coming from. My daughter is very outgoing and hands on, and when she's around, it's really difficult for me to concentrate. She talks a lot, and I love it, but sometimes I just want silence. It's always a challenge getting her to understand that I need 30 minutes of quiet.

Today was especially bad because I was trying to get ready for vacation, pay bills, do a critique, and try to do things with her as well. It's hard not to get snappy sometimes.

Adriana, I hope your migraines are better soon!

Gee, I feel you. I have a two year old also and my daugther feels that when mommy gets home from work, it's all about her. And it is. But I need to write and I haven't been. By the time I get home I'm so drained, sometimes even too drained to deal with her, I don't even have much time and energy to eat let alone write. But I have to find a balance someway, somehow. As soon as she can understand, I'm going to try to implement Lorena's method.

Oh and SATURDAY DAYCARE...HONEY, I am TOO envious! I must find that here in Houston.

Hi, I'm a newbie to this forum and also to the group, so why not start with confessions?

I'm the single mom of a two-year old, and I can't work with my son around. At all. Except domestic tasks, and even for this he cries. And, like Astra posted, I can't possibly write at night. (Thus the forum at night...)

As I've also been trying to squeeze writing time in between working-for-money time for years, this took on a new meaning with a child: if I want to write, I need child-care time to write.

At the moment I'm lucky enough to have a job that's only three days a week, but my budget won't handle it much longer, and in Egypt I discovered the wonders of the ***saturday daycare***!

So here's my personal form of mother-guilt--is it really defensible for a mom to leave her child in daycare 6 days a week???

I do, and I know I'll keep doing, since it's utterly unimaginable for me to give up art for childrearing... but I certainly have moments where I miss having a two-day weekend--one for cleaning, laundry and grocery shopping--and one for--my son...

cheers to the rest of you!

I am of the belief that taking time to do what you love, what your passion drives you to do, is just as important as the job of taking care of the kids, husband, significant other, etc. And that somewhere the premise occurred where women should sacrifice THEIR time for everyone else's time. 

What we teach our kids when we say, 'Mom has some work to do so go and make yourself happy', is that the world does not revolve around them. They also learn that we are individuals that have needs and aspirations too. This is healthy for kids to understand at an early age because we need to show them that making yourself happy is important, rather than expecting someone else to entertain you.

My kids know that when I say, it's me time, that it is exactly that. They have learned to do the same, in fact, my daughter said the other day that she just needed some time by herself.  When you teach them to do this then they can teach themselves to find activities that will stimulate them to perhaps follow their own passions as they see their mom do the same.

Lorena

www.LorenaBBooks.com

Guilt always emerges and beckons as I try to fit in a few moments to do what *I* want to do.  Though I can't say I never deviate, but I've developed a bit of schedule that works for me (I have school-aged children so I know this won't work for moms of preschoolers!):  Early mornings are my 'write' time.  I awaken an hour before anyone else to write... just write (no emails, no tidying, no nothing else.  Ok, maybe coffee. Definitely, coffee). I shower, organize breaksfasts lunches and head out the door for work (pending prompt school bus schedules). I do the work thing. I come home and do the mommy thing. Late evenings are my 'read' time.  I read between 9p and drop dead asleep time (sometimes 9:01pm, sometimes a little later!). My mental acuity wanes so I really find I can't write in the evenings! Writing is a hobby right now, but hopefully this discipline will work itself into allowing me to write more at some point soon!

Hi, Audry ~

Thanks for absolving us of any guilt trips!

I don't know about you, but as a mom writer, one of my biggest mom guilts is not feeling totally present with my family, even when I am physically, because I'm often mulling over something I'm working on.

Have a Happy Mother's Day ~

I was struggling with this yesterday. My kids wanted me to - build train tracks with them, "make my rexie (T-Rex) talk," "get my Eeyore blankie," etc. etc. I hadn't written in days (thanks to school, finals, blah blah) and I wanted to get some work done. I've also been trying to control my migraine with meds so I could work. So it was especially difficult to deal with them AND write AND be pain-free. It made me feel awful that I had to turn down their requests, but in the end I'm happy I did, because I had a much-needed, productive writing day.

Off to read your post!