My NF Query Letter: Take 2

Dear ________________,

 

This book is not about abortion. It is also not about adoption or child-rearing. It is not pro-life or pro-choice, but it does tell the stories of fifteen women faced with this decision, isolated by this decision, and, without exception, changed by this decision. 

 

This particular struggle is unique for several reasons: culturally, it is a subject that is uncomfortable to discuss, it is a decision faced by only one gender, often the circumstances are emotionally traumatic, and it demands attention in a timely manner. 

 

Despite the knowledge that being connected to a community helps us in myriad ways, this is one issue that isolates women like no other.  It prompts shame and embarrassment, ignites strong emotional responses, and politically and ideologically divides our entire nation. It is no wonder that most women choose not to share this dilemma with even their closest allies.  Fortunately, 150 courageous women stepped forward to share their stories with me.

 

The women profiled in “Rock and a Hard Place” include a rape victim, women who underwent fertility treatments, a surrogate mother, frightened teens, and others whose unborn babies were diagnosed with genetic defects. Each story leads the reader through one woman’s lonely quest to come to a decision she could live with for the rest of her life and looks back with the perspective only time can offer. All of them are unique and personal and engage and connect the reader to the struggle on a human level.   Within the pages of this book each reader will recognize their sisters, their friends, their daughters, and themselves and begin to understand that when our loved ones are struggling, politics and ideology offer no solutions. These are real women facing real consequences and isolating them as they desperately search for answers adds an additional layer of pain. 

 

The completed manuscript is available upon request.  

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Replies
  • A short and sweet bio, and why you are the person to write this book is needed. I could go either way with your opener; it definitely caught my attention, pushing me further into the letter.

    Here is my overall feel for your book when I'm finished with the letter:

    "Huh, tough subject to cover." Definitely appropriate for today's times.

    It is direct and to the point.

    I'm not sure who's presenting the ms; are they experienced in some way with the subject?

    That the book is sort of a compilation of stories about women who suffered and conquered / failed through the situations they faced. Maybe a book like the Chicken Soup series, letting others out there facing similar issues know they're not alone.

    And, I'm left wanting this book to make me feel better and uplifted after I'm done reading it, not depressed or sad.

     

    Not sure any of that was your intention in the letter, I just thought I'd give you a feel for the way I interpreted it.

    Best of luck:))

  • This is a powerful letter and a timely subject with the increasing restrictions being imposed on women. I, too, am torn over the opening. It certainly catches your attention. Maybe you should try deleting the sentence about adoption. And you do need to end with a sentence or two about yourself.  I think it's a zinger!  It makes me think about the Handmaid's Tale, dangerously coming true in many ways. Right wing religious zealots are all for personal freedoms (don't take away my gun!) until it comes to women and woman's bodies. What gets lost in the fray is that abortion, whether you like it or not, is still legal in this country, and I don't get to choose where my tax dollars go, so why should they?
  • I balked on the opener, too. Kept thinking a sentence or paragraph got dropped. The rest of the material is interesting and supportive, but it needs to hang on a solid hook. Can you, for example, pull one of the later key sentences forward? Off the top of my head:

     

    "The women profiled in “Rock and a Hard Place” include a rape victim, women who underwent fertility treatments, a surrogate mother, frightened teens, and others whose unborn babies were diagnosed with genetic defects. What these 15 women all have in common is the choice they had to make, and the different routes they took to making it." [or something along those lines, leading into the rest...]  ??

  • This is a very powerful and concise query.  And as I've said before, it's a very interesting project.

    That said, I'm not so sure about your new opener!  I'd like it better if it came after a sentence like "I'm seeking representation for TITLE, my 90,000 word non-fiction..."

    I'm trying to decide if I can live with "This is not... this is not... this is not..." It's very arresting, which seems well fitted to the work.  But it's just so darned... negative.  

    I would love to see you cut the clause "Despite the knowledge that being connected to a community helps us in myriad ways" because it only weakens the rest of the sentence, which I'd like to see stand on its own.

    Now, even though people say to go light on your bio graf, when I read this it made me wonder "who is this person, and why did she interview 150 women who had to make the abortion decision?"  The story of how you got involved would add some depth here.

    But this is very good work.  I have no doubt you'll get plenty of requests for your project.