EK,

I agree 100%! There is so much contradicting information out there! It's difficult to decipher what is right. See, you've read that tidbit and I've read they only want to read a letter querying one novel, at a time. I don't think there's a right or wrong answer, every agent is different. It will appeal or not appeal to the agents. Just like your four rejections to your one request! And that's great, btw!!!:))

Recently, I also had a request for a full. My query only included the one picture book, but the agent's request for the full, asked for a "future project idea list," which I included a short synopsis graph for 3 of my wips. I didn't want to overwhelm her and send her a list of twenty-two "future projects! lol! I figured 3 that are near completion or 1st draft completed would suffice.

Ultimately, it's your call. I'd keep doing what you're doing. 1 / 5 is awesome!!

I've heard that advice about agents wanting to know you're working on other things, as well. I'm not sure you need to go into detail. Just that you're working on a family saga, or a young adult mystery, or so forth.

In regard to your particular query, maybe something a little more general like a story about a family's struggles with Alzheimer's disease.

Thanks, Candy.  Sorry it's taken me so long to respond to your comments - I've been trying to wrap my head around the differences between querying UK agents vs. US agents and have ignored our community as a result.  

 

Per your comment about future book, that's a tricky one since I've read on so many agent's blogs that they want to know that you have more than one in you and that they want to manage a career and not a one-hit-whatever.  Sometimes I think there should be one rule book for agents - query (fine), synopsis (fine), outline (not fine), set number of chapters (great) - it's the personal preferences that sometimes don't gel with the agency's guidelines that get a bit hairy!

 

Best,

EK

Dear EK, in this version, we get a better grip on what Earl wants (to keep his son from the devastating V. War), and more of what happens in the story. Good job.

I think it would be best to leave out the graph regarding the future book. You can let the agent in on this news if she / he asks for future projects ideas! Let the query letter represent the novel you have finished. :))

Anyone else have futher tidbits for EK?

Hi Candy!  I posted a revised query below but think it was in a fit of pique that I wrote it.  So, here goes... And again, I do appreciate your feedback!

 

Dear (Agent Name):

 

I have recently completed a 65,000-word novel, The Younger Son and request your consideration for representation.  Additionally, I have submitted queries to a handful of other agencies and am awaiting their responses.

 

The Younger Son is a story about family, loyalty, rednecks and rebellion.  It is also a reminder that even acts of love can have disastrous consequences.

 

In a rural American town in the late 1960’s, Earl Younger is a broken-down, middle-aged man who is despised by his son and pitied by his daughter.  When his wife walks out on them, each are faced with the challenges of growing up.  For Earl’s daughter, that means navigating between being a teenager and taking on the role of the wife.  For his son, it’s proving how different he is from Earl.  When his son’s act of defiance leads him to enlist in an unwinnable war, Earl must discover what it means to be a father.  Fueled by whiskey and desperation, Earl takes a drastic step to keep his son out of the war in Vietnam.  Unfortunately for Earl, things don’t go as planned.

 

I am a graduate of Mount Holyoke College with a degree in English.  I currently live in London with my husband and hound.  Prior to our move here, I was an advertising and marketing copywriter in New York for over 10 years. 

 

Additionally, I am in the outline phase of my second novel, which will center on a retired man who, amidst the protests of his grown children, moves his wife into a state-run nursing home when she becomes debilitated with Alzheimer’s disease in order that he might finally afford to buy a Cadillac.

 

Upon your request, I am happy to provide you with the completed manuscript.  Thank you for your time.

 

Regards,

Erinn Kindig Richards

 

Hi Candy.  Thanks for your interest and insight.  Actually, thank you all!  

 

So, I put it aside, ate soup and watched t.v. and this is what I've come up with.  I think I've managed to incorporate all of your excellent suggestions but I'm wondering if the synopsis is still too thin?

 

Dear (Agent Name),

 

I have recently completed a 65,000-word novel, The Younger Son and request your consideration for representation.  Additionally, I have submitted queries to a handful of other agencies and am awaiting their responses.

 

In a rural American town in the late 1960’s, Earl Younger is a broken-down, middle-aged man who is despised by his son and pitied by his daughter.  When his wife, inspired by the writings of Dale Carnegie, walks out on them and his son’s act of defiance leads him to enlist in an unwinnable war, Earl must take a drastic step to save him.  Fueled by whiskey and desperation, Earl takes a hatchet to his son with the intention of chopping off his trigger-finger in a last ditch effort to keep him out the war in Vietnam.  Unfortunately for Earl, things don’t go as planned.

 

The Younger Son mixes one part Harper Lee’s To Kill A Mockingbird with one part Larry Brown’s Joe: A Novel.  It is a story about family, loyalty, rednecks and rebellion.  It is also a reminder that even acts of love can have disastrous consequences.

 

I am a graduate of Mount Holyoke College with a degree in English.  I currently live in London with my husband and hound.  Prior to our move here, I was an advertising and marketing copywriter in New York for over 10 years. 

 

Additionally, I am in the outline phase of my second novel, which will center on a retired man who, amidst the protests of his grown children, moves his wife into a state-run nursing home when she becomes debilitated with Alzheimer’s disease in order that he might finally afford to buy a Cadillac.

 

Upon your request, I am happy to provide you with the completed manuscript.  Thank you for your time.

 

Regards,

Erinn Kindig Richards

 

 

EK, Try adding some of what happens in the story. Show us what Earl Younger or whomever your mc is, what he or she wants. Think about drawing the reader into the story by showing them why your novel is a *must* read. :))

 

I do think that signing up for writing courses and "actively participating" in writer's groups shows you are dedicated to the craft of writing. It's just that our query isn't a place to announce it.

 

Place more of your story detail in the word count of your letter vs. bio.

 

Show us another version, we'd love to see more:)

That's funny about the Southern thing. I think maybe it was the "Rednecks" and the names.... and the "To Kill a Mockingbird" reference. :)

Michelle, you are totally right.  It's hard finding a balance with these things.  Am I telling too much or too little?  Since I don't have a "platform" am I padding my bio so it doesn't look as meager as it is?  I think now is the time put it away, sit in front of the television and eat soup!

 

And thank you all for your valuable insights!

Congrats on the MS request.  That must be very exciting.

Please take into consideration that I am in no way an expert on the subject, hell I haven't sent out a single query so I am not even a novice on the subject.

I have to ask, what is the story about?

Once you take away:  the word count and request for representation,  the comparisons to other works of fiction, that it is set in the 60's with multiple POVs, and the information about your background - you are left with the little bit you tell us about that story.

There is a man who doesn't have the best relationship with his family and then his wife leaves.  His son does something terrible, will he be able to help.

Out of approx 200 words, that is all you said about the story, and really, does it say anything about the story, NO. 

In regard to your bio, the fact that you were an advertising and marketing copywriter is writing experience for sure. I can't see why it would hurt to say you have a degree in English, so that part is fine.  The rest is completely irrelevant.

Candy said "Even though, I like this tactic because it shows dedication", but does it really?  You told us that you moved to London and prior to moving to London you took classes in New York, therefore it sounds like you were dedicated.  (please remember I am just commenting on what you wrote, who knows, you might have moved to London on March 15th and haven't unpacked, must less had time to find classes to take).

Thank you for share your query with us.