Hi, Kelley, Sorry to take so long to respond. I was teaching the class on rejection. I came across your long-ago posted "opening chapters not working for agents" discussion forum on Virtual Critique, in which you made some good observation. All this to say that in the class, I shared what Matt Briggs once told me: "No" means "no.' That is all it means. "No." It wasn't working for them at that moment. To Matt's wisdom I would add: because they didn't think they can sell it for enough money to make the work of selling it worth their time. I don't think the issue is to get your intentions all would up in whether or not an agent signs your manuscript. I think the issue is to find as many agents as you can who represent your type of book. That is the kind of intention that will get you a book deal. And I agree 100% that the more balanced you are with rejection, the easier it will be to publish. Did you read the part of my chat with Kate Lebo where I talk about getting so excited about the wealth of other places to submit that a rejection letter becomes an exciting opportunity to submit elsewhere/ Go get 'em, girl.

To be totally honest with you, I have only recently come to have a quasi-balanced relationship with rejection. I'm not happy about it, but I understand its purpose now. I accept it as a point along my publishing process and timeline to ponder exactly what my intentions are. The clearer I am in my intentions, the more likely I am to make the connections I need to. I also notice that the more neutrally I can approach anything, that is, emotionally uncharged, the better its chances are. Without doubt part of the job description of writer is being able to accept rejection. We do not always have to accept it well, and that's natural. For me it seems that when I am particularly bothered by it, I need to go back and re-examine my intentions for that specific project, as well as overall. Thanks!