I'm really enjoying reading everyone's response. Some of my favorite snippets from our discussion so far: To identify "mother writer" of "mommy blogging" is on one hand giving voice to a typically overlooked aspect of story in the literary mainstream, but then there is the fear of compartmentalizing art under these subheadings. - Cristina People hear mother and writer (mother is all they usually hear ) and automatically assume thats who you are in a nutshell or that everything you write is in someway related to your being a mother. - Kelli I protest at "Mother" being a dirty word, but it hadn't occurred to me that a mother writer would be perceived in such a negative light. Yes, call me naive, but I guess I have been lucky in my professional associations. Why should a "mom who writes in her spare time" be relegated to the bottom of the page? Maybe that is something we are here to figure out. - Victoria "MOther Writer" and "Mommy BLogger" IMO, are fine for self-labeling within the trade, for groups like this, but I tend to bristle at labels like that elsewhere, and I think segmenting can be harmful in some cases. I wouldn;t expect to be put in a "women doctors" if I were a doctor, you know? - Laura I don't want to be reduced as a writer or by "critics"--remembered for covering solely one aspect of the human range of experiences (motherhood being one), but also I agree much can be gained by celebrating/bringing to awareness what we go through to raise children and stay in touch with ourselves and our mates. Why shouldn't it be seen for what it is--gritty and beautiful, fraught with despair and insights you can't gain through any other process. - Tania And on that beautifully poignant note, I'm off to feed those twins...

I love that quote from Nikki Giovanni LaTonya!

Cristina- Well put! I am also a big Ariel fan, and feel that my writer's voice-mama voice-has been shaped in ways by working with her. Yes to announcing where it comes from, and I heartily agree that it is the outside that needs to compartmentalize. (I am going to read on before I add my own 2.5 cents.)

You bring up a really valid point, Kelli and I'm glad you did. I'm coming at this from being a SAHM for the last 3 years (2 small kids) and only within the last year finding the guts and gumption to jump wildly back into writing. I protest at "Mother" being a dirty word, but it hadn't occurred to me that a mother writer would be perceived in such a negative light. Yes, call me naive, but I guess I have been lucky in my professional associations. Why should a "mom who writes in her spare time" be relegated to the bottom of the page? Maybe that is something we are here to figure out.

I'm speaking from my experiences in my local writing scene (which is extremely male dominated) but I should have clarified that I believe the term "mom who writes" only becomes a crappy term when people use it as an excuse to put your writing down or put you in a box, "Oh, she's just a mom who writes in her spare time." I think that unless you are lucky enough to be in a creative environment where people don't think twice about a woman being a mother who writes, you're going to get comments. It may not be to your face, you may even take it as a compliment only later to realize it wasn't and you may be thinking people like it when they're just being tolerant. People hear mother and writer (mother is all they usually hear ) and automatically assume thats who you are in a nutshell or that everything you write is in someway related to your being a mother. I know women in a writing group I used to attend that wouldn't even admit to having kids because they want to be taken seriously and it's just a little group. But I also stated, and this is what it really boils down to,it is what you are writing and what you want to be defined as, it's what you're comfortable with. I do understand what you mean when you say "Often times I don't feel so much a part of a sisterhood as a defender of personal choice--on every level and it isn't the men in my life that are questioning me, quite the opposite." I have actually stepped back from talking about feminism with others, even though it still peeks out because I feel that I shouldn't have to tow a line I don't believe in just because everyone else thinks it's right. (and woe upon those who speaketh against that party line). It's almost if you can't be a feminist without being radical these days. I don't know you're situation other than that you have child(ren?) and a husband and it sounds like you have very nice husband but not all women are as lucky ( i'm not being patronizing, this is why I hate typing replies, so much is lost in translation). Theres nothing wrong with having kids, being a Sahm or Sahd, either, it all boils down to personal choice.

Am I getting the feeling that the term "Mother" is somehow diminishing? I am proud of what my ovaries can do. I'm wondering if it is really what men get away with or the perspectives women carry themselves? Often times I don't feel so much a part of a sisterhood as a defender of personal choice--on every level and it isn't the men in my life that are questioning me, quite the opposite. This is something that has kept me away from entering the feminist dialogue for so long--until recently, when I heard a woman (sorry I can't remember her name) speaking on NPR about feminism and supporting the choices of all people regardless of gender. That made me realize I had only been hearing one side of the story: the side that made my decision to be a SAHM the wrong one, the side that said, "You're pregnant again?" feel like I was shoving hungry babies out onto the streets, the side that told me being a mother wasn't enough, that I had to prove my worth out in the real world. Well, here I am, Real World still mothering, still writing, still doing it all from home. My husband is proud to be a father and will most likely tell you that before his career choice. He would gladly take my place as a SAHD if I ever had a career that paid. I'm going to go along with Tania and LaTonya on this one--let's celebrate motherhood, our lives, our choices, our dreams and support one another.

Deborah, I apologize in advance for my brief answer. I'm a writer. I'm a mother. I blog. I don't have a mommy blog. I publish two blogs and both are focused on passions and are a reflection of me, a woman and a writer. I think what matters is how we identify ourselves, if we respect what we do and who we are. We are responsible for defining ourselves and then as Nikki Giovanni says: “Deal with yourself as individual worthy of respect and make everyone else deal with you the same way.” ~Nikki Giovanni And does every writer want to be a professional? Does every writer aspire to be published professionally? I don't think so. I believe many writers especially in this century know they have the power and resources to make their voices heard. That doesn't always require a publishing house.

Great discussion--so much has already been delineated here. I can't remember not being a writer. Motherhood really helped me get my priorities straight--and for 8 years either breastfeeding or pregnant, blog "consciousness" started soaking in to my awareness, and I thought, ok, I better join that conversation, get busy, participate. I think if I'd starting blogging in grad school I'd have done so under a totally different lens; the simultaneous insanity and gift of raising little people while maintaining a marriage, etc, provides of course a dearth of material to write about. I don't want to be reduced as a writer or by "critics"--remembered for covering solely one aspect of the human range of experiences (motherhood being one), but also I agree much can be gained by celebrating/bringing to awareness what we go through to raise children and stay in touch with ourselves and our mates. Why shouldn't it be seen for what it is--gritty and beautiful, fraught with despair and insights you can't gain through any other process. I would hope ultimately that my work would be judged solely on its merit--no matter what the subject matter. But as we saw earlier this year with the lack of women writers' work making it onto lists of notable reads, etc, we aren't really yet (will we ever be?) on a level playing field. I haven't let myself dwell on that so much (who has the time while raising children?!) for in what little gaps I have I focus on being the best writer I can be, searching ever for some bit of truth to offer up that might make life on Earth more bearable for the rest of us (myself included--through the transformative process of revelation).

Great discussion! I'm really not a fan of the term "Mommy Blogger;" it just seems so cutesie, so diminutive. I do join trade-specific groups that are organized that way (liek this one) as it gets irritating to hear about the writers who can spend all month doing nothing but writing with no interruptions (ha). And I have a lot in common with other mother writers, sometimes--though there are dichotomies that exist within that group as well: SAHMs and office-workers, for example. What those groups have in common is that none of them have time to write :-) I have a hard time publicly identifying as a writer at all, frankly, at least so far (I can't intro myself with my published books, for example, though I'm working on that), and wrote about that yesterday on my blog Momtrolfreak.com (Writer's Block: An Identity Crisis in One Act) since I got started thinking about it due to yesterday's thread. The other reason I don't ID as a mommy blogger is because I don't just write about being a mom. I write about relationship issues, and advertising, and feminism, and Buddhism, and living in Chicago, and grad school, and current events, etc. Some of that is through the lens of motherhood rather blatantly, and for others it's not mentioned. "MOther Writer" and "Mommy BLogger" IMO, are fine for self-labeling within the trade, for groups like this, but I tend to bristle at labels like that elsewhere, and I think segmenting can be harmful in some cases. I wouldn;t expect to be put in a "women doctors" if I were a doctor, you know?

Motherhood does not define me nor my writing. However, I am a mother and I am a writer. I would not have the luxury of being home to write if it wasn't for my children so in deference to them I do sometimes refer to myself as a Writing Mama. For me, calling myself this is a way to bond with other writing mothers who understand more than anyone else the frustrations of working around naps and laundry. I also use the moniker as an excuse as to why I haven't written/published more! I blog but I do not like the term Mommy Blogging because of the reputation "they" have. I don't like blogs that seem to blog just for the sake of having a blog rather than for the love of writing. My blog is my life line - it keeps me writing and on some days, sane. Bottom line: I am a writer who happens to be a mother!