Check out this article on the Clayman Institute Gender News Service. I feel like I already knew this, but it is sobering to see it put so clearly. I for one am going to hire lots of mamas as we grow She Writes!
Kamy, Becky, and all: I'm reading Sharon Meers' Getting to 50/50 too -- Courtney Martin gave it to me, saying it's one of the best books on work/life she's seen, which I take as a strong recommendation. I've followed this debate from afar for so many years -- from Sylvia Hewlett to Ann Crittenden to Leslie Bennetts to Judith Warner, with stops at Lisa Belkin along the way -- and it feels different now that it's suddenly so personal. The twins are 7 weeks old this week, and I have serious visions of Marco and I continuing to tag team it, both working from home (me writing and doing SheWrites!, and he doing freelance graphic design) and both caring for the babes. The question is, will we be able to sustain this?
In addition to Meers, another resource to check out is the Equally Shared Parenting blog, which is, I believe, on its way to becoming a book. On the increase in stay-at-home dads, do see Jeremy Adam Smith's The Daddy Shift, which too started as a blog (called Daddy Dialectic). Both authors are part of the Council on Contemporary Families, (where I'm on the board!) which is a great org for keeping up with the latest evidence-based data fueling this whole debate.
Thanks so much for the link! I've been writing a bit bout this lately as well. I think one of the real disadvantages we have in this debate, is the fact it is still being made into a feminist issue. Don't get me wrong, I am a feminist and I think job and pay equity are issues for feminists just not only for feminists. I had a bit of a stab at the topic in the comments section of Morra Aarons Mele's, Punished for Taking Too Long a Maternity Leave? Blame Feminism article up at BlogHer.
I'm a bit exasperated with the constant critiquing of feminism for all of today's women's problems, AND a bit bemused that we don't pull fathers and extended family into the debate. These are family issues - not only 'mother's' issues. As long as we keep calling them women/mother issues, we miss out on broader support and contribution to solution finding.
Hey all,
I am immersed in Sharon Meers' book, "Getting to 50/50" which really addresses all the issues around family and work. It's painful to read about, but inspiring to know that there are families out there making it work, and companies willing to support them. Thanks Kamy for the link - the best tool we have is data.
Kamy,
I've been thinking about this more today and have another idea why fathers aren't penalized like mothers. Since November my husband has been working against a very important deadline that will be up (finally) on Monday. This week is an intensive crunch for him and he has gone so far as to sleep at work to avoid falling asleep behind the wheel at 5 am. My daughter also has the flu. If I were to work outside of the house and my kids were in daycare/preschool someone would have to be home with her.
Though it doesn't always fall to the mother to be the one to take time off, that is what the employers expect while fathers are expected to work long hours despite the needs of the family because what the family requires is money to keep on the up and up. We're still picking berries while Dad is out there hunting with his spear for days on end.
I kid myself when I think these kinds of biases don't exist anymore. How could they? We are much smarter now, aren't we? Of course I am wrong. Women are little better off than we were. I find comfort in knowing there is a small, but growing percentage of stay at home fathers. The fact that there is such a huge pay discrepancy between single childless women and mothers astounds me. Not to mention that families have to take childcare costs into account when deciding on how to raise a family and work at the same time.
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