(an) ever-changing, continuously morphing, roller coaster ride through ridiculous beauty and hell highways without cafes for tea and cake. It is days of feeling the high of being in the right moment at the right time and then finding out it was all a cruel joke. It's Groundhog Day with a concussion, its broken kaleidoscope eyes that can't shut. It's being the mother of a beautiful son with a beautiful mind who couldn't see it and took his life. Now three years later here I am. This is the new me. Hello everyone, I'm here to see if I can channel my story of how I found my dream home, in a tiny village in a new country and then just days later was plummeted into depths of pain I am only just barely recovering from. A journey I took alone in a land of myth, deep spirituality, and a connection to the land that helped me grieve.