It's pretty good as it is, though I'd make the first sentence stop after "lights". Then change the order of the sentences. Flip sentences #2 and #3, ending with (for example), "So, THIS is the reason they don't make office windows that open." You're on the right track!
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\Hi Penelope,
You might ocnsider looking at the beginning of this piece and seeing what you want the reader to know right off, then getting to it. I've copied and past...
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Those goatheads again. Lord, I hated those puppies. Though I must admit that their four way spiked symmetry is gorgeous viewed close up, (before they break apart and p...
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Great post and reminder to ask! I'm so interested in life in Africa for some reason. I've always felt that I belonged there for some reason and so it didn't surprise m...
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Kamy, this is a thoughtful, on point assessment of the conversation from yesterday, the situation as it stands and a call to action. I am glad I was there and apprecia...
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