• The Wire
  • Jan Brehm posted a status
    YOU BETTER STRAIGHTEN UP AND FLY RIGHT This phrase has been playing on repeat in my mind the last couple days. Where did it come from? It feels like it’s coming from angry threatening voices. It’s all a bit mirky…Oh yeah, now I remember… Bad behavior, talking back, unacceptable grades or just about anything that would anger or embarrass my parents warranted: “Stop crying or I’ll really give you something to cry about!” “Don’t make me get the belt” then before the imminent butt wallop, “This will hurt me more than in hurts you.” or “I’m doing this because I love you.” (My father later apologized for spanking us in rage.) “How can you treat me this way after all I’ve done for you? After all the pain I suffered bringing you into this world.” and the ever guilt-inducing, “What will the neighbors think? Then the name calling surfaced. “Dumb Bunny, Dim Bulb, Dimwit, Nitwit, Dingbat, Numbskull, all spoken over us with disgust and contempt, and as we shut down our emotions a bit of our soul disintegrated. The punishment and threats did provide sterling behavior but only camouflaged a rebellious and rancid rage growing beneath. I know I’m not the only one here with this story and while I know my parents did the best with what they knew at that time, and they did provide us with wonderful adventures and warm memories, I don’t fully understand the story they carried through their adult lives and into our family that affected their need to control and manipulate. But I do know after being a parent myself, and the discipline measures I used, had I known better, I seriously would have done better! Many of us in the sixties were “disciplined” with spankings, shaming or sucking on bars of soap. (My mother used pink Dial soap because it matched the bathroom countertops. Little did we know about the toxicity of those pretty little bars. https://clickamericana.com/topics/beauty-fashion/vintage-dial-soap. I poked around a bit and found a few long term effects from verbal and physical punishments… Damages dignity, self-respect, self-esteem, and sense of a positive identity. Destroys a sense of fairness and justice. A child may try to avoid physical punishment by lying. https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/healthyliving/discipline-and-children#the-consequences-of-physical-punishment I believed all this was quite normal growing up until noticing a few years back how children are disciplined in today’s climate. My reaction to swat a tantrum or shame a feeling is an impulse that still breathes in me. “Don’t cry or don’t be angry” equals don’t feel, plaster a smile on your face and just be happy. But currently I watch my daughters help their children identify, validate, and feel their feelings while gently guiding them through this maze we call growing up. Don’t get me wrong, I do see the tantrums, but instead of spanking or sending them to their room, I watch them being given a space to process whatever their frustration is. I am viewing my grandchildren grow in self-assurance, confidence and into delightful human beings. I am learning a different way and while it seems positive discipline takes a lot more effort, I believe in the outcome may: Teach children responsibility, self-discipline, problem-solving skills, and cooperation. Build trust and strengthens relationships, helping form new connections in a child’s brain. Build and maintains self-esteem. Teach children how to manage their emotions Teach children to deal with stress in healthy ways. https://www.earlydevelopment.org/what-is-positive-discipline/ Many of us continue to uncover, expose and air out the damaging effects from the corporal punishment we endured in the 60’s. It’s taken awhile but as I shed these embedded toxic messages that murmur, “Your behavior outweighs the sum of who you are (your performance overshadows your existence) or the driving force for you to look good, young lady only warps your ability for true authenticity, do I emerge head to toe who I my Creator had in mind when I was placed on this earth.
  • Linda Spreeman posted a status
    Quotes are something that speak to me, usually. I use quotes when writing personal notes, some e-mails, occasional letters, cards for birthday/anniversary/wedding/graduation, and sometimes just for myself. These 49 quotes on accountability speak volumes to me and are applicable in so many areas of life be it personal, business, family, friends and countless others. https://www.reddit.com/user/lindalspreeman/comments/1arskwc/linda_spreeman_49_great_quotes_on_accountability/
  • Irma Gonzalez posted a status
    11/9/86 6:39 In the cream, Papi, who is my stepfather, was going for a walk with me. He was giving me tokens and wanted to give them to me for appreciation. we walked through a picnic ground. mainly beautiful Black people. They had all delicious sorts of foods and colorful blankets all spread out.--almost blanket toi blanket. It as so hard to walk and not step on someone's blanket/..
  • Louella Bryant posted a status
    New Review of my novel Sheltering Angel, based on a true story of the Titanic, proclaiming the story "Poignant, spellbinding, and gut-wrenching: https://historicalnovelsociety.org/reviews/sheltering-angel-a-novel-based-on-a-true-story-of-the-titanic/
  • Louella Bryant posted a status
    Hey..BookFunnel recommends Sheltering Angel, my novel based on a true Titanic story, among other good reads. https://books.bookfunnel.com/gomery-kimber-action-adventure-thrills/631q0kvu42
  • Chantal Bellehumeur posted a status
    I am excited to announce the publication of my new book "Paranormal Investigation".  Title: Paranormal Investigation Author: Chantal Bellehumeur Genres: Paranormal suspense, historical fiction, humour Available to purchase on Amazon in Kindle and Paperback formats: https://www.amazon.com/Paranormal-Investigation-Chantal-Bellehumeur-ebook/dp/B0CRGZ9SY4/ref=sr_1_1?crid=W1JMCQAVM01M&keywords=chantal+bellehumeur&qid=1704556457&sprefix=chantal+bellehumeur%2Caps%2C193&sr=8-1 About the book: This fictional ghost story with a slice of humour was inspired by historical facts and true events. Discover the dark history of Cornwall's old jail, built in 1833, and follow the fictitious Roy family as they conduct a paranormal investigation inside the historic building. Their spooky venture evokes questions about a spirit possibly following them home.
  • Louella Bryant posted a status
    Look toward the bottom of the Black Rose Writing website and note that I am the featured author and Sheltering Angel the featured novel through March. Thanks to editor Reagan Rothe and the BRW staff for this honor. So grateful! https://www.blackrosewriting.com/home#gsc.tab=0
  • Louella Bryant posted a status
    My novel Sheltering Angel based on a true story of the Titanic is being offered as an ebook giveaway, but only briefly. If you grab it, please leave a review. https://books.bookfunnel.com/holidayebookgiveaway/kqwz27laxz
  • Juanita Davis-King posted a status
    Hello, everyone Happy New Years for 2024:)
  • Jan Brehm posted a status
  • Jan Brehm posted a status
    MISTAKEN It was almost closing time when struggling to get my card out of my wallet, I walked in. The attendant looked deeply into my eyes with concern and asked, “Where do you want to go, hon?” I replied, “I just need to get some vegetables.” She gave me a doubtful look. It appears I had entered the wrong door at our Costco here in Redding, California, and hand to head I proclaimed, “Duh,” and reentered at the Entrance. Midway into my shopping, I realized what I must have looked like to her. Home, I had stepped into my old snow boots but had not taken off my Christmas pajamas yet, put my new big lumpy wool sweater on, which by the way looks fabulous with the right garb, and behind old, scratched glasses I had smudged off my makeup. It was late and I just wanted those vegetables. There is a large homeless population in our neighborhood. I think she may have assumed that’s the tribe I had wandered in from. When I got home and looked in the mirror. I might have made the same assumption. I pondered then asked myself,how many times do I make these snap judgements about the character and quality of one’s life by what they look like? Crap. I do it a lot and find nine times out of ten I am dead wrong. As I continue to disentangle my soul from my upbringing that whispers critical voices that are meant to be heard, I have uncovered the erroneous message that I was born, bred, and raised to believe I am better than you. I am not. And while entertaining those thoughts might make me feel better about who I am in this world, they drive me deeper into an apartness from that fundamental need for connection I so desperately long for. The difference is, now I see it. And when those thoughts pop in my mind, I practice saying to myself, “That may or may not be true. And what business is it of yours anyway.” On repeat, every day, in line at the grocery store, at the gym, the guy in the car next to me, or that woman sitting alone at the theater. The fact is we all swim in the pool of Human and have been created equally by a Creator who has an immeasurable acceptance and love for every single one of us. Of this I remind myself. Then I buy myself some green beans. Assumption: “Something that you accept as true without question or proof.” Read more at: https://janbrehm.com/blog/
  • Jenny Steffan posted a status
    Tall and Confident: Navigating Success in the Fashion World
  • Louella Bryant posted a status
    See my newest blog post outtake for Sheltering Angel, based on a true story of the Titanic: How Andrew got his tattoo. https://louellabryant.com/2023/12/28/sheltering-angel-outtake-the-tattoo-parlor/
  • Louella Bryant posted a status
    New interview with Melinda Moulton about Sheltering Angel, a novel based on a true story of the Titanic with details about how it came to be. The book is available from online sellers or the publisher Black Rose Writing https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j0PXO3sRCnM
  • Louella Bryant posted a status
    I'm delighted Black Rose Writing has agreed to add a subtitle to my novel Cowboy Code. Original title is misleading. It's not about cowboys. The subtitle reads: "A Story of Three Women of Appalachia." I think this WWII novel is my best book to date. https://www.blackrosewriting.com/historicaladventure/louellabryant?rq=cowboy%20code

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