I would like to submit my personal essay (non-fiction)for a Narrative contest this evening. I am grateful for any feedback received. Millisecond Moment, Infinite Wisdom by Jodi O'Donnell-Ames I was thirteen years old and had all of the concerns of a teen: clothes, makeup, friends and future husbands. When I looked at him, I saw only his eyes-azure and piercing. Oh, and, his hair, he had sunny blond hair that made him look much younger than his fourteen years. His name was Billy and he was the greatest soccer player in our middle school and on this very planet! He was fast, strong and popular. He was the last thing I thought of before I fell asleep and the first thing I considered when I picked out my school clothes each day. If I could have replaced my bedroom posters of heartthrobs Leif Garrett and Shaun Cassidy with Billy in his soccer shorts and shin guards, I would have in a second. Shaun… who? Billy was my very first crush. Unfortunately, the closest I ever got to him was sitting in the same chair in science class exactly two hours after he did. He sat here, in this chair. It’s cosmic; we were meant to be together! While Billy was celebrating hat tricks on the soccer field and wowing his fans, I was his devoted secret admirer. He was obviously in love with me, he just didn’t know how to tell me of course! So, in the name of love and destiny, I became a spy. I had to discover my competition and find a way to steal Billy’s heart. One day in May I was on the job, undercover, with the help of sunglasses and a hat. Billy was warming up for his soccer game. I paraded the parameters of the field, admiring his deft dribbling and impressive bicycle kick. The day was sunny with a few scattered clouds. Feeling brave, I crept a tad closer. I removed my sunglasses and hat and started to play wall ball- one eye on the ball, one on the Boy. And then it happened. There was a loud, long boom that engulfed the field and brought everything vertical to the ground. I fell hard and lay confused. What was that? Sounded like lightning and thunder but it’s not even raining? The thirty kids or so who occupied the field that day, slowly got up. Some were crying. Others brushed off the dirt and grass from their knees and laughed it off. It was a scene from a sci-fi movie, surreal and unexplainable. Eventually, everyone became vertical again. Everyone, except Billy. There was no thinking involved on my behalf, I just ran to where my heart led me, next to the heap of Billy on the grass. He was ghostly white and his face, frozen in a lifeless expression. His clothes were tattered and his cleats ripped open. The t-shirt he was wearing was falling off, exposing a swollen belly. The blond hair that was usually slicked back, stood up straight, oddly. I bent down and shouted his name, “Billy!” Then again, "Billy, can you hear me?" There was no movement and no answer. “Billy!” How could his body be so still? He was just playing and having fun a minute ago? Suddenly, people were screaming and running and panicking. Next thing I remember is the ambulance's siren. Billy was lifted, secured and rushed to the hospital. The lightening “freak” accident, as it was reported, took his young life on the way to the hospital. When I heard the news, I went to my church and cried and prayed. It was the first time in my life that I asked, "Why?" A healthy, vibrant peer was gone, just like that. One moment, on a beautiful day, ended a life. I could not comprehend this truth. He was going to be in school on Monday. All of my feelings were beyond my control. I was angry, sad, confused and heartbroken. There was no gadget, no sweater, no dessert that could save me from my state of mind. Never had I had a problem that my parents couldn’t help me solve. But they were helpless. The priest was helpless. And for a long time, I was helpless. The only way was through and the only person who could get me there was me. It took me nearly a year to recover from what I had experienced and the emerging survivor was mature beyond her years. Life was no longer a given, it was a gift. And I’ve cherished it ever since.