HOW NOT TO LIVE POETRY FROM MY MANUSCRIPT:

(POEM 1)
NEED TO KNOW

You tell me that "I need to Know", you look compelled, but I can tell it is far too late for you to try and tell me now, so I guess I am going to have to try and suck it out of you. I do, that beautiful shade of "YOU" , no matter how much I try to stop it quickly fades into a shade of grey hanging over you, hanging my love for you. The voices in my head have left me with my thoughts, there is no erasing them, I am sorry but you are gone, I am sorry! The words I have forgotten now try to come out "Your Gone!" but can’t come out.

I let you in, so now please let me go, if they find me lost and betrayed again, what will you tell them them, swallow the key? I wish you could, too bad you already used it to unlock that tragic door, and I can’t erase what I know and now the consequences are coming and you sit there crying, saying to me "Oh my God what have I done please forgive me".

"Forgive me", why should I have to, we were perfect, I am so frustrated, there is no way for me to explain the way that I feel, but there is no way for you to understand how bad it hurts. You said "Forgive me", if I ever did anything to hurt you this bad my love I would not be able to forgive myself. My heart begins to bleed into my soul for the first time, I can feel my soul simply will not forgive you for letting this happen.

　Time passes, my heart heals, but I know my soul will never forget what happened. You come crawling back, your crying, you need a friend. You trigger all the feelings I felt before so I open the door and let you back in. This time I know the consequences are coming, my heart rejoices, but my soul cries out "Oh my god, what have I done, please forgive me!"

by Brett Foster



(POEM 2)

The Mother Of All Needs
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　 By Brett Foster

　　　　What the hell did I have to lose, nothing or everything, the positive or negative. I had already bled through the snow beneath my feet. Suddenly everything became so clear to me today, we were always sleazy in the night. And as soon as I allow myself to heal I will run far away, or just start swinging.

　　　 In my head I can hear the voices crying, beneath my sanity they are begging me for it. Quickly, without a seconds hesitation I am on my way to try and quench their endless thirst. Never settle, just keep learning I remind myself.

　　　 In this circus we call life people beg me for this strange medicine. It has got hold of me, I just don't know it yet. In a world where all hope seems lost I can no longer find myself, so I medicate to dull the pain.

　　　 My fate is no longer in my own hands, I must find a way to feed the Mother of all needs, addiction. I will run those closest to me off, or grab hold of them and cling on for dear life. I tell myself this might just feed the Mother of all needs, then I whisper to myself "Someone please save me, I am lost".



(POEM 3)

THE OLD GENERAL

The Old General lets the world know one last time through the sound of his ferocious war cry that he will not be conquered by this world. He will never give in, not now, not ever! Meanwhile Life’s ruthless scavengers smell the blood of a weary war hero and begin their slow circular descent overhead. Without fear, the man I called Rock and loved with all my heart, stands proud and strong without anyone by his side. Rock lets out one last rebellious roar of defiance.

"Tell life, like I have told him every time he has tried to take me before, I won’t be leaving this world on life’s cruel terms—not like my mother, or my father. The only man who has that right, is me and I will determine when my life will finally be taken by the wind!"


BY BRETT FOSTER, dedicated to my father who passed away in December of 2006 after an eight year battle with cancer (Leukemia). I will love forever big guy, I miss you dad!

2009-2010 © Brett Foster. All Rights Reserved.



HOW NOT TO LIVE QUOTES FROM MY MANUSCRIPT:

(QUOTE 1)

LIFE, a new day has arrived, the beginning of the end, waking up and taking a deep breath “aahhhh it feels good”, and letting it out just to let yourself know you made it to the next day of your perilous journey. Then saying to yourself you know what, you are still here, you are still alive, and saying, “what else do you got world, I can take it!”


(QUOTE 2)

Of all the traditions associated with college, drinking by far is one of the most celebrated. The memories that are made and lost during this period will help to mould us into the individuals we will be for the rest of our days. The social boost that alcohol can provide to college students cannot be overstated. This boost can help college students to forge both short, and long term relationships. Short-term relationships consist of those that are created while in a drunken stupor, and when young ambitious college students simply are to inebriated to know what fowl demon he or she may be pledging his or her undying love to.

 

HNTL: it is like looking at your life in the rear view mirror.