Why is it when women reach a certain age they become somewhat invisible? I've felt it many times and I'm sure my peers would back me up. When I went from Miss to M'am I sensed a change was coming. Didn't like it but didn't know what the repercussions would be. Things were more subtle at 42. Time to take action!

Oh but I went for skincare to offset ageism. I decided money was not an object for a daily routine that would head off signs of age, especially those pesky lines and later deep wrinkles. I was happy with the results and push away any ideas of botox or lifts.

Was it obvious I was suddenly a 'woman of a certain age' or did some cosmic force hang a sign on me. All I know is I became aware I was not attached. Previously I'd been independent. Now I was 'alone' or as my restaurant experiences taught me 'just you or alone tonight?' Couples who were friends only saw me during the day. Weekends I was on my own unless I devised an activity for myself.

Aaaargh. I stood out. I tried to make up for it by looking fit, youthful and dressed well, for me that is and the city where I live where most folks prefer Eddie Bauer to Donna Karan or Tom Ford. No ortho shoes for me. I had highlights added to my hair. I went lighter and tried for saucy. I felt I could still dress somewhat with the intent of being, dare I say it...sexy for a woman in her 40's. It worked for a while...

Then suddenly I became aware of this underclass of older women. You know them, you see them. They slip quietly into Starbucks with a book or a popular restaurant with the newspaper. They have a solitary meal with a glass of wine. They look up occasionally to see who's in the same room but mostly they with downward eyes focus on the meal and then quietly slip away.

Once they had a husband and children. Life goes on without you sometimes. Kids move out to have their own lives and husbands may follow for various reasons. You become single again through no fault of your own and friends may also depart so you are alone more than you used to be.

I have developed this compassion for the lonely. I feel it for myself and those I see going on about their days. Wasn't that long ago when men and young men would notice you walk by. Now if they look your way it's to see a young woman sitting or standing near you. The phone doesn't ring as much and anonymity rules the day sometimes but we all have a purpose to be here.  The years have gone on and I'm no longer in my forties but I have wisdom and a beautiful soul...yeah that's it!

It's not fair and we have the power to change it. I'm working on that because despite everything I still feel relevant and interesting. That's one reason why I'm blogging. My value may have been discounted by some but I'm still here.