I have trouble remembering my age. The number to be exact… I’m not hiding it from anyone, if you’d ask me, I’ll honestly tell you. I’m 43. Going to be 44, this June. But, whenever I think of my age, I’m stuck to 40. That’s the number first coming to my mind. Being forty something feels amazingly good, comfortable and happy. The reason why I'm going to the number 40 is probably because that's when I started writing, that's when I decided I wanted to write. Now or never.
As much as I remember I always wanted to be older. I’ve always admired women in there 40s, 50s and older. I loved the way they positioned themselves, I admired their wisdom, their calm, reassuring gestures, manners, their style and the way of their living, their sense of accomplishment. I think it’s an amazing age and a beautiful stage of life to be in.
As I said, my journey as a writer began when I was becoming 40 and when I’m looking back to that period of my life now, several years ago; I think it was just the right time to start. I quit my job and I was free, I was emotionally ready. I had nothing to lose, or be afraid of, it was a fresh start, a dive into unknown, a feeling similar to the one that we have when watching a suspense movie, when a huge wooden door opens and you’re a bit scared of what you’ll find behind it, and what you find is a beautiful secret garden with bluebirds and fireflies all over! The most thrilling, enjoyable, road coaster ride of your life which is called writing your first novel. For me, I guess, starting at 40 was perfectly right as the experiences I went through, all the people I’ve met, all the places I’ve been to, boilled and bubbled within me, helped me, drove me, and formed into a book, into a story I wanted to tell, into the characters and their lives I was about to invent. It felt like a whole new life ahead. It wasn't an easy turn, it was a drastic change and certainly, in many ways a challenge, but it was worth everything I ever did before.
I do believe that many things if not most in our lives, happen for a reason. I believe, that if you’re able to see yourself, your life in perspective, you’ll find out what you want to be doing no matter what age you are, sooner or later.
When I ask myself, I know that all I want to ever be doing is writing stories. What I don’t know however, is why I didn’t ask myself that same question some 10 or 15 years ago, and why, most importantly, I didn’t listen to myself back then. I don’t consider that time wasted nevertheless.
I have no idea, what’s next in there, will I be quitely sipping champagne, seated in the comfy armchair wrapped in a warm blanket in the yard of my house and gazing the horizon, while simultaneously plotting my next best selling novel when I’m 78? We’ll see. Hopefully my pilates lessons will do me good. That's what my pilates teacher tells me. I’ll let you know. You're invited to join me for a champagne party. But before that, I’m immensely enjoying being 43. It's simply marvelous. Don't you think so?
