As writers, we are all encouraged to develop a platform—an online presence to help us market our work. But there can be a dark side to platform building that the experts rarely address.
Yesterday, I saw two Facebook status updates from writer friends lamenting the state of their followers. For one, it was people who no longer followed her and, for the other, people who ignored her and no longer commented. In the case of the first writer, her feelings were genuinely hurt. For the second, it made her angry and, she was determined to go through her list and cut out the offenders.
While the publishing gurus are urging you to develop more, bigger, better platforms, they may not be preparing you for the emotional fallout that can come with that kind of investment of your time and ego. Since taking my writing leap several years ago, I’ve worked hard to develop some kind of online presence, and yes, been a victim to both the hurt feelings of rejection and the fist-pumping euphoria of increased numbers. While I’m definitely still small potatoes in this world, I have learned a few lessons along the way:
Remove your ego. This is key. It’s a tricky balance: you want to be authentic, genuine, and transparent online, but doing so creates personal vulnerability. Remember, your online world is not you. This is a place to promote your work, not seek validation for your self. Be aware of when your feelings are hurt or you get caught up in a debate or become angry. Are you getting too invested? If so, take a breath and step back for a bit.
Numbers are just numbers. It’s easy to seek validation of who we are by the number of followers we gain and get into a comparison mode with other writers. Remember, the idea is to promote your writing and that takes time, especially if you’re still unpublished. For now, don’t get too concerned with numbers. My advice? Ignore them. Work on the quality of your posts, showcasing your passions, and building relationships.
Balance the time. When I worked my job at the college, I had my hands in many pots. While students were my main focus, I still managed personnel, a budget, and attended pesky meetings. It was part of my job. By the same token, attending to a platform may not be a favorite aspect to your writing life, but it's part of your job as a writer. Fortunately, it can take as little as a half hour a day—a Facebook status update and a few comments here and there, a blog post and reading and commenting on a few other blogs, a Twitter update and a couple retweets. An added benefit: limiting your online time also ensures the platform world doesn’t become an extension of your “real” world.
Reciprocate. Which leads well into my fourth point: the online world is, like it or not, about reciprocation. I talked with a writer the other day who told me she didn't like the follow-me-and-I'll-follow-you mentality of Twitter. I understand that, but if you want people to comment and follow you, it’s good etiquette to comment and follow others. As writers, we help each other out this way. It’s also how we build relationships with people. As with your writing, there must be a take-away for people. What are you offering to others?
Keep it separate. Develop an online author presence that is separate from your personal presence. I write under the name Julie Luek because my real last name is a tongue-twister. But I maintain personal accounts with family photos and bragging (because my kids are wonderful) on my personal page. I have a Pinterest account under my Julie Luek name too and pin fun visuals and inspiration pertaining to my writing interests. Keeping your platform presence separate from your personal presence also helps you keep a little distance between what you do and who you are.
So get out there. Do as the experts suggest and build a platform. But take care to guard your heart and self-esteem a bit in the process. Put in place a few precautions and get ready to interact with people and have fun!
Do you build a platform? Have you ever felt the sting of rejection online? Do you watch numbers too much? What suggestions can you make about how to keep it all productive, and fun, while protecting yourself a bit?
Julie, thanks. I'm flattered.
Lisa, I've experienced both: bloggers replying to my comments or not. Mostly, they reply when I said something worth replying to, like introducing a new point or arguing their cause or offering a contradictory example. If it's just: "your blog post is great" there is nothing to reply to, so people don't bother. And you have to be open in comments, not just polite. Your comment should be interesting, otherwise people don't reply. Comments are miniature posts. If I have nothing to say, it shows, so I usually don't comment in such cases.
Lisa, I think you made two great suggestions here. One, know when to walk away. (I've done that too rather than let something needle at me) and 2) different forms of social media require different kinds of responses and involvement. Add those to the list! Thank you.
Thanks for these tips, Julie! I mix a little personal in with my professional image because it works for the kind of writing I do. Social media should be fun but it can really be draining mentally and emotionally, as you say.
One site I was visiting regularly because the content was great. I was finding though, the blogger was responding to everyone's comments but mine. I felt snubbed and it kind of hurt. So I don't really go back there (BTW, my comments were all positive in case you were thinking maybe I offended the writer--not the case). Anyway, I just don't leave comments there. I prefer to interact with bloggers who enjoy responding to comments. All of the platforms are so different though, it's hard to lump all social media into one basket and say one thing works well equally. Your style can be a little different for each one. Sorry my comment is so long!
Got it on my Bloglovin' list!
Julie, my site is http:/
Thank you for asking.
Olga, It is frustrating and I'm not sure the progress always feels like it justifies the effort, but I do think the alternative is to do nothing and gain no followers. Today's publishing market just can't afford that. That's why I think it's very important to do it, work at it a bit each day, play the game with a sense of fun, and then let it go. What is your website, Olga?
Excellent post, Julie. I know this frustration too. My blog is relatively new, only a few months old, and building a readership for it is still very much a mystery. I have some followers, but what surprised me about most of them was that they appeared out of nowhere. I've never heard their names before. I think, some people are just looking for their own followers and follow anyone in hope of reciprocation. So no, the numbers do not reflect the reality, you're right about that.
In fact, the real number of respondents is tiny, about 5% of the pool, maybe less. At least, that's what I found when I started sending out emails to solicit reviews for my novel. Building a platform seems an uphill battle, and sometimes, I'm tempted to stop. But I still want to write, so I continue this game.
Thanks for your thoughtful post. At least I know I'm not alone.
Cheryl, as it often happens, as soon as I write something I'm confronted with it. The day I published this post, I had one of those very vulnerable and raw online days where I felt over-evaluated. I had to laugh, then take my own advice, and shut down for the afternoon and write. I need to be better about this too.
What a timely and instructive post, Julie. Thank you. I am just beginning to build my on-line platform and have been struggling with the issues you have so nobly tackled. I wrote down your line, "This is a place to promote your work, not seek validation" into my little notebook of writing wisdom. I know it will be a good reminder at times when I am feeling particularly vulnerable. Kind regards, Cheryl
Clene, I know it's such a hard thing to get out there. I think if you want to publish, you need to take the platform piece seriously, but it can really feel vulnerable. I do get that. Publishers do have expectations about our visibility. It's just the way it is, I think.