A couple weeks ago, I heard from an old friend who is in the middle of writing her first novel. She asked if I'd be willing to read the first chapter and give her my thoughts. I was reluctant to say yes because I feared a potentially awkward situation if I didn't love it, but she promised she wouldn't be upset and wanted my honest feedback. So I agreed.
I was pleasantly surprised to find that I enjoyed her writing, and I found myself interested in the story. However, what jumped out at me more than anything else was the repetition of a particular word. My friend used this word over and over, once four or five times in the same paragraph, and as a result I found myself distracted and eventually annoyed.
We all have words and phrases that we like, but be careful not to overdo it. In my friend's case, she overused the word "bag" because her protagonist likes to shop for vintage handbags. I suggested she sprinkle in direct synonyms such as "purse" as well as indirect ones such as "number" or "gem" (e.g. "I found that beaded number and the little gem next to it online"). Mixing up the terminology will keep readers focused on the story, which is what makes for a good read. (Note: repetition for emphasis is a different subject.)
There are many ways to describe this item, so mix it up!
When I mentioned the problem to my friend, she laughed and said she had no idea she'd done it. (By the way, this is why everyone needs an editor.) Her positive attitude also showed how important it is to accept constructive criticism and learn from it.
-Maria
Maria Murnane is the author of the best-selling romantic comedies Perfect on Paper, It's a Waverly Life, Honey on Your Mind, and Chocolate for Two. She also provides consulting services on book publishing and marketing. Learn more at www.mariamurnane.com.
This blog post originally appeared on CreateSpace.com. Reprinted with permission. © 2013 CreateSpace, a DBA of On-Demand Publishing, LLC. All rights reserved.
This is a problem I experience also. I have found the use of Pro-writing Aid (a software program that has unfailing eyes for this kind of thing) to be helpful. You plug in your text and it gives you a lot of information - repeated words among other things (too long sentences, vague words, cliches). Doesn't replace an editor but it can help polish up and grind off some of the rough edges.
Recently I read a MS for a contest that utilized a more, how shall we say, streetworthy word repetition? Starts with F, blah blah, you get the idea. Anyway, I think word repetition can also veer off into areas where an author gets so in love with either the idea of the word or they use it for shock value that they get blinders on. I think as writers we have to chew over our words as carefully as we should our food when it comes to appreciating their sound and impact in a story. I love to read my stuff out loud, I catch more typos and word abuse that way. Thanks for the good post.